And To Change, Is It Good?
by Artemis1
Summary: Usagi is married to a man named Tetsu, but their marriage seems to be a bit rocky lately...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. This idea came to my mind this morning or rather,  
last night and when I woke up, I thought about it a bit  
more and now I decided to write it ^_^ Hope you like it.  
Usagi is 24 by the way and Tetsu is 25... Err Mamoru  
is like an old guy then... Heh, he's probably 30....  
I won't make him older or it'll be weird x_x  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Prologue  
  
Usagi sat up in bed, feeling a whisper of cool air  
seeping in from the window. Bright, white light flooded  
in to tell her it was morning. She sighed and turned  
to the figure lying next to her. She gently smoothed  
his hair as she watched him sleeping peacefully.  
"Tetsu..." she murmured his name, then saw him stirring  
awake.  
Her hands moved quickly away as his eyes opened. He looked  
at her expressionless and without a smile. She smiled a  
little, hoping he would smile back. Her hopes were crushed  
as usual.  
"Good morning Tetsu," she murmured. "Did you sleep well?"  
He just nodded, then slipped out of bed.  
"I'm going to have a shower. You can go and have breakfast  
first," he told her, then she saw the bathroom door closing  
shut.  
Usagi sighed once more, then got out of bed. She changed  
into a long, summer dress, patterned with fading roses.  
It was her favourite dress and it reminded her of the  
times when Tetsu had complimented her in it. Now, he no  
longer said anything to her unless it was necessary.  
She slipped quietly out of the room to the kitchen.  
There, she made herself some salad and munched on it  
at the kitchen bench without bothering to sit down.  
She played with the lettuce, her fork piercing it  
so many times before she actually put it in her mouth.  
"Until death do us part...." Usagi whispered, her  
voice sounding frail.  
Usagi jumped at the sound of the bedroom door opening.  
She busied herself with washing her emptied salad bowl.  
Tetsu's firm footsteps could be heard, walking down  
the stairs.  
"I'll be home earlier than usual today," Tetsu spoke  
to her from the TV room. "And pack a bag full of  
what you need to stay away for a month."  
Usagi turned, surprised and a little glad that he  
was saying something to her in such early hours  
of the day.  
"A month?" she asked, walking to the TV room,  
wiping her wet hands on a tea towel. "What for?"  
"You'll see," was all Tetsu told her.  
Puzzled, Usagi stood there looking at him for a  
while longer. He glanced up at her and his eyes  
told her to go away. She turned obediently and  
left the TV room. Tetsu was always in a bad mood  
in the mornings.  
  
Usagi sat outside on the balcony. She could hear  
the morning news in the TV room below her. What was  
Tetsu thinking of doing? Where they going on a holiday?  
It was their 3 year anniversay afterall. Usagi became  
a little hopeful and smiled to herself. Maybe work  
wasn't the only thing on Tetsu's mind. She certainly  
hoped so. But three years had been a long time. At  
least for Usagi, it had felt that way. She remembered  
how Tetsu used to be so sweet and kind to her. He was  
always so funny and he would spend so much money on  
her even when she kept telling him not to. Ever since  
he had been promoted, he was so moody all the time,  
so busy, so tired, so stressed. He had no time for  
her any more. Usagi hadn't minded at first. She wanted  
to support him. But gradually, maybe because she hadn't  
talked to him about it, he started to not talk to her  
at all unless it was necessary. He would avoid  
conversations with her and the only time when they  
were together was when they went to sleep. At least  
that made Usagi feel like he didn't hate her. At least  
he felt comfortable enough to share the same bed as her.  
Usagi sighed and closed her eyes. She felt like she  
no longer knew Tetsu any more.  
  
After a while, Usagi realised that she could not  
hear the TV. She walked down stairs to find that  
Tetsu had left for work without telling her. Usually  
he at least told her for security. Tetsu was acting  
a little stranger than usual, so Usagi just shrugged.  
Maybe he was planning a surprise for her. But she  
hated the feeling that Tetsu would never do such a  
thing any more. She wanted to believe it, but somehow  
she couldn't. Usagi sighed for the third time that  
morning, then went back up stairs to pack a suitcase.  
  
----  
  
A.N. Tada! That was the prologue. Just a little bit  
of background info. Although, I think you could read  
straight from part 1 and not get lost. But just to  
satisfy the author in me, I wrote the prologue ^_-  
E-mail me at moon_cat_9@hotmail.com! I love getting  
feedback!  
  
Anyway, look forward to part 1! Here's a little  
teaser for it:  
  
Part 1 - Is It Fair To Say...?  
  
Mamoru opened the door to see his colleague  
Tetsu and his wife. What was her name again?  
Usagi, he remembered as their eyes met for  
a fleeting moment.  



	2. Chapter 1 - Is It Fair To Say...?

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. This idea came to my mind this morning or rather,  
last night and when I woke up, I thought about it a bit  
more and now I decided to write it ^_^ Hope you like it.  
Usagi is 24 by the way and Tetsu is 25... Err Mamoru  
is like an old guy then... Heh, he's probably 30....  
I won't make him older or it'll be weird x_x  
  
In case you forgot or skipped the prologue:  
  
"I'll be home earlier than usual today," Tetsu spoke  
to her from the TV room. "And pack a bag full of  
what you need to stay away for a month."  
Usagi turned, surprised and a little glad that he  
was saying something to her in such early hours  
of the day.  
"A month?" she asked, walking to the TV room,  
wiping her wet hands on a tea towel. "What for?"  
"You'll see," was all Tetsu told her.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 1 - Is It Fair To Say...?  
  
Mamoru opened the door to see his colleague Tetsu  
and his wife. What was her name again? Usagi, he  
remembered as their eyes met for a fleeting moment.  
"This is my wife Usagi, as I've told you about," he  
heard Tetsu's low voice waking him up.  
"Hi," Mamoru smiled a little, then yawned. "Sorry,  
I just woke up. Tetsu, you could have rang before  
you came."  
"I was busy Mamoru," came the expected reply.  
He noticed that Usagi was quiet and her eyes looked  
a little red. Had she been crying? Not that it was  
any of his business to be curious about Tetsu's  
wife, but she looked a little upset.  
"Um, is she okay?" he whispered to Tetsu as   
they walked in.  
"Mamoru, remember what I told you when we were  
discussing this before?" Tetsu replied quietly.  
"Yeah, no questions, but this isn't really  
a question is it? She looks upset..."  
But Tetsu's look just made Mamoru shut up. Tetsu  
could be stubborn sometimes. Usagi walked in,  
her large suitcase being dragged by her small body.  
Mamoru took a step towards her to help, but then  
paused when he saw Tetsu heading to the door.  
"You going?" he asked. "Already? You just got here."  
"I'll miss the plane," Tetsu murmured, then walked  
out of the door.  
Mamoru raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. He closed  
the door and turned back to Tetsu's wife who he  
barely even knew. He didn't really understand Tetsu,  
but he knew him enough to not argue with him.  
"Um, hi did Tetsu tell you about me?" Mamoru tried  
to smile as he approached Usagi.  
She was sitting on the couch, arms wrapped tightly  
around her and staring at the floor. She turned  
to face him as Mamoru sat down next to her.  
"Are you Mamoru san?" she asked, her voice so quiet  
he could barely hear her.  
Mamoru nodded. He sat there awkwardly, not sure  
how to act around her.  
"Did Tetsu tell you about the arrangement?" he asked,  
hoping she wouldn't start to cry.  
Usagi nodded slowly. Her lips quivered.  
"Would you like a drink?" he asked to be polite  
and to change the subject.  
She shook her head, then closed her eyes tight.  
Her small body started shaking. They were so slight  
that Mamoru didn't notice at first. Mamoru didn't  
really know how to handle anyone else's wife, so  
he sat there unsure of what to do. Usagi bit her  
lip until it bled, containing her tears. She didn't  
want to cry, but her emotions were swelling inside  
of her body and she couldn't control it. She finally  
let her tears fall when she felt a comforting arm  
around her small, fragile body. She clung onto Mamoru's  
shirt and cried.  
"I'm sure he meant well," he murmured, trying to make  
her feel better.  
"How... how could he...?" Usagi uttered between sobs.  
Mamoru watched as she cried. He felt a stabbing pain  
in his heart as if it had been his fault for not talking  
Tetsu out of it.  
"It's... our.. anniversary today..."  
Her cheeks were wet and Usagi felt her lips stinging  
as her salty tears streamed down. Mamoru listened quietly  
and held her rigidly in his arms.  
"I thought.. maybe.. Tetsu... maybe he... but I was  
wrong..."  
Usagi couldn't understand why Tetsu was so obsessed with  
his work. Why? She knew he didn't want to hurt her, but  
could she live like this for the rest of her life? With him?  
How could he just leave his wife at another man's home while  
he went on a business trip for a month? Any other day and  
Usagi would not have thought it was such a big deal, but on  
their 3 year anniversary? Had Tetsu forgotten they had been  
married? Didn't he love her any more? Had he ever? And as  
thoughts like these spun around in her head, Usagi felt  
incredibly tired. She still clung onto the stranger, Tetsu's  
colleague, because he offered her the comfort her heart  
ached for.  
  
Mamoru sat on the couch, his foot almost numb. Usagi had  
cried herself to sleep and now he couldn't move. Her head  
lay against his arm while his other arm was around her body.  
His sleeve felt wet and cold. Usagi's shallow breathing was  
the only sound in the room and her thin fingers still clung  
onto his shirt.  
"My wife, he says," Mamoru murmured, observing Usagi.  
He had heard her murmur Tetsu's name once or twice in her sleep.  
She was still obviously in love with him. She did, afterall,  
marry Tetsu. Mamoru craned his neck and saw that Usagi's lips were  
bleeding slightly. He managed to move his hand slowly to reach  
into his pocket and get out a tissue. He gently wiped the blood  
off her lips. Usagi opened her eyes sleepily, startling Mamoru.  
He moved his hand away from her face. She blinked sleepily,  
her eyes half open.  
"Tetsu?" she whispered.  
Her following actions happened so quick that Mamoru was paralysed  
with shock for a few minutes. Usagi pulled his face closer and  
kissed him. Mamoru could taste blood. He pulled Usagi away,  
holding her firmly by the shoulders.  
"I'm not your husband," Mamoru told her.  
Usagi opened her eyes fully and realised her mistake. She was  
speechless. Mamoru let her go and she jumped up from the couch.  
"I.. I'm sorry, I.. I thought you were Tetsu.. I.. Sorry.." she  
stammered, her fingers at her lips.  
"It's all right, I understand," Mamoru told her reassuringly.  
Usagi looked away from him. He wondered if he was appropriate  
for looking after her. He didn't know why Tetsu had chosen him.  
Actually, he had a slight impression that Tetsu had asked him  
because for one, he owed Tetsu a favour and two, Mamoru wasn't  
very interested in women and Tetsu knew that.  
"Would you like to settle into your room?" he asked her, getting  
up from the couch.  
Usagi nodded, then shuffled over to her suitcase. Mamoru grabbed  
it before she even tried dragging it around. He showed her to her  
room, which was at the opposite side of the apartment as his room.  
Mamoru put her suitcase down beside the bed, then left.  
"I'll be cooking dinner, it'll be about an hour," he told her.  
Usagi thanked him and watched the door close.  
  
The room was plain and quite small. Usagi unpacked her things and  
hung her clothes in the built in wardrobe. After unpacking, she  
noticed a balcony. At least she might feel a little more at home.  
Usagi opened the glass door and felt cold air smack into her face.  
It was almost six and the air was cool already. She stood by the  
glass door for a moment, then stepped outside. Usagi leaned against  
the ledge and sighed. She felt an aching pain inside her heart.  
She still loved Tetsu so much even though she knew he didn't feel  
the same about her any more. Usagi felt so angry, but at the same  
time sad. And she felt so embarrassed after what had happened  
with Mamoru. Hadn't she acted like a fool? She would never have  
kissed Tetsu like that, but somehow... She had thought Mamoru was  
Tetsu in her half sleepy state and her emotions had taken over her.  
Usagi felt so messed up. She gazed across the grey cityscape,  
wondering where Tetsu was now and what he was doing.  
"Tetsu..." she whispered. "Is it fair to say that you don't love  
me any more?"  
  
And Usagi was so immersed in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed  
Mamoru standing in the room. He left quickly after hearing her  
speak, feeling guilty that he was eavesdropping on her thoughts.  
  
----  
END OF PART 1  
----  
  
A.N. How did you like that? ^_^ I'm starting to like how all this  
is turning out. I think it'll be a short story though, no longer  
than 4 parts. Maybe a little longer..? Well I'd like to make it  
6 parts max. but you never know, I might get carried away.  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 2 - If It Had Been Myself  
  
Mamoru had to keep reminding himself every time he  
had seen her before, that Usagi was old enough to  
be a woman, but she always looked like a young girl  
to him. She smiled a little when she saw him. Her  
long golden hair fell straight down her back and  
she was hugging a small bundle of clothes and a towel. 


	3. Chapter 2 - If It Had Been Myself

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 1:  
  
Usagi felt so angry, but at the same time sad.  
And she felt so embarrassed after what had  
happened with Mamoru. Hadn't she acted like  
a fool? She would never have kissed Tetsu  
like that, but somehow... She had thought Mamoru  
was Tetsu in her half sleepy state and her  
emotions had taken over her. Usagi felt so  
messed up. She gazed across the grey cityscape,  
wondering where Tetsu was now and what he was doing.  
"Tetsu..." she whispered. "Is it fair to say that  
you don't love me any more?"  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 2 - If It Had Been Myself  
  
Mamoru woke up from the sound of his alarm clock. The light  
chirping sound almost gave him a headache. He thrust his arm  
out and clicked it off. The silence made him sigh in relief.  
The room was dim and grey, with slits of light trying to  
wriggle through the blinds. Mamoru glanced at his clock. Six.  
He felt a little drowsy, although usually he didn't feel so  
tired in the morning. He could wake up, almost effortlessly,  
and be ready in ten minutes. But for some reason, this morning  
his body felt a little lazy. He lay there for a while, staring  
at the ceiling. A sudden knock on the door broke the cool  
silence. Mamoru bolted up, half his sheets falling off the bed.  
"Mamoru san?" he heard a quiet voice from the door.  
"Yes?" he called out, unsure whether he was supposed to call  
her by her first name or her married name.  
"May I use the shower?"  
"Of course."  
Mamoru quickly jumped out of bed and threw on a shirt. He tidied  
up his bed and strode over to the door. He opened the door to  
see a fragile looking girl. Mamoru had to keep reminding himself  
every time he had seen her before, that Usagi was old enough to  
be a woman, but she always looked like a young girl to him.  
She smiled a little when she saw him. Her long golden hair  
fell straight down her back and she was hugging a small bundle  
of clothes and a towel.  
"Sorry there's only a shower in my room," Mamoru apologised.  
"No, it's all right. I'm the guest here," Usagi smiled.  
They stood there for a short while, then he slid back to let  
her in.  
"Did you want to change first?" Usagi asked. "I can wait."  
"Actually, I'll only be a minute," he considered.  
Usagi nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door  
behind her.  
  
Mamoru quickly changed into a pair of black trousers and  
a crisp white shirt. He grabbed a tie from the rack and  
looked around for a belt. He held the tie in his mouth  
as he pulled on his socks and shoes. Then he hurried into  
the bathroom and made sure his hair was neat. Mamoru opened  
up the door in a sudden movement, making Usagi jump outside.  
He took his tie out of his mouth.  
"There you go," he smiled.  
"Thank you," Usagi nodded, a little embarrassed. "You didn't  
have to rush."  
She shuffled into his room and he heard the click of the lock.  
Mamoru flung his tie around his neck, then buttoned up his  
shirt. He wondered if he should have buttoned up his shirt  
first, but he shrugged. Mamoru made some coffee and he was  
tempted to take a bite out of some mocha ice cream that was  
in the freezer. He decided against it, since it was a bit early.  
  
Usagi stood in the shower, feeling the drops of water sliding  
down her body. Her hair stuck to her back and to the sides of  
her face. She looked around the shower and saw bottles of  
shampoo, cakes of soap, gel and other things. The bathroom  
had grey tiles with black strips of tile near the top. It was  
all very simple. Usagi took her own bottle of body wash, scented  
with sweet apple, and poured the green liquid onto a sponge.  
  
In the TV room, Mamoru sat down on the couch and remembered  
Usagi crying the night before. He took the newspaper from the  
coffee table and tried not to think about it. It hadn't been  
the first time that Mamoru had met her. Tetsu had once introduced  
them at a dinner, about a year ago. She had still looked small  
and fragile, but obviously a little cheerier. She had clung to  
Tetsu and, to Mamoru, she just seemed like a frightened deer who  
only had Tetsu to guide her. He didn't really understand why  
she would have married Tetsu, but then he wasn't an expert on  
marriage or love for that matter. His thoughts were broken when  
the familiar sound of the water running, stopped abruptly.  
  
Usagi stepped out of the shower and hugged her towel. She shivered  
as her feet touched the cold tiled floor. She wrapped her towel  
around her hair and dried it a little to prevent it from dripping  
water everywhere. She slipped into her bathrobe and poked her head  
out of the door. The bedroom door was locked so Mamoru couldn't  
be in there, but she checked anyway. She noticed that the whole  
room was pretty much empty, except for the messily made bed  
(with a bedside table on the side closest to her) and a wardrobe  
and a bookshelf against the wall. There was a flat wardrobe  
inbetween two bookshelves. They were made out of a deep, rich  
brown wood. Usagi felt intrigued. Each shelf was full from top  
to bottom, end to end, with books. Her small feet curiously  
wandered around the shelves. She outstretched her arm and  
slid her finger along the spines.  
  
Mamoru stared blankly at the words on the page he was holding.  
He was deep in thought and the words stared back at him in a blur.  
Often, he had wondered why and how people could "fall out of love".  
Love wasn't his forte, but then again, maybe it was because he was  
afraid of it. He had heard and seen so many of his colleagues and  
friends experience it and he just didn't really understand. Mamoru  
himself had nobody in his life since he was young and he didn't  
really mind it either. He shook his head clear of those thoughts.  
Whenever he thought about it, he started to get a little depressed.  
He glanced at his watch. He had an hour to get to work. It had been  
a while since the water had stopped running. Had Usagi finished her  
shower? Mamoru looked at the grey door which teased him. He didn't  
want to disturb her, but he did need to get his stuff.  
  
A cloud of dust fell on Usagi's face as she slipped out a book from  
the rigid position between two thick books. She sneezed. Then, she  
ran her fingers across the cover to remove the thin film of dust.  
"Dreamscapes...?" Usagi read the title on the crimson cover.  
Curious, she flipped the cover and at that instant, several sheets  
of paper flew out and fell to the floor. Usagi quickly shut the  
book, then knelt down to pick up the sheets. As she picked up the  
sheets, she saw rough pencil sketches on one of them. The paper  
looked old, smelling stale and had tinges of aging yellow. There  
were several sketches of a girl in a flower bed or a garden and  
some of the same girl with the moon in the background or a large  
palace of some sort. Usagi wondered who the girl was and if it  
was Mamoru who had drawn them. They were beautiful, even though  
they were only sketches, and for some strange reason she felt  
extremely intrigued by the sketches. After picking up the sheets,  
Usagi took a few step backwards and sat down on the edge of the  
bed. There, she opened the book once more to see a short passage  
on the inside cover.  
"For Chiba Mamoru, with love," Usagi read quietly, her heart  
nervously beating. "May your dreams be sweet, filled with  
beautiful and fascinating places to satisfy your curious mind."  
Usagi wondered if she was reading something personal of Mamoru's  
and whether it was right for her to keep on reading. Her fingers  
trembled as they refused her will to close the book. She placed  
the sheets back inside the cover, preparing to return the book  
to its rightful place on the shelf. Usagi stood up and walked up  
to the shelf, slotting the book back into the vacant spot between  
two books. But as she tried to tap the book back in, it fell  
backwards. The book fell noisly to the floor as Usagi toppled back,  
her arms out to catch it.  
  
Mamoru sat up, wondering if he had just imagined the sound. He slowly  
and quietly walked up to the door and leaned against it. He didn't  
want to seem nosy, so he didn't press his ear too hard against the door,  
but he didn't try to prevent it either. He held his hand to the door,  
his knuckles ready to knock. He listened and heard the rustling of paper.  
Or was he just hearing things? Usagi could just be browsing through his  
books, but he suddenly felt panicky. He didn't know why, but he didn't  
want Usagi to look through his books. Mamoru wanted to knock, his hand  
steadied at the door, but he wasn't sure if he should. Afterall, there  
was nothing in the room that was personal to him. He had no reason to  
accuse her of snooping around his room. Did he? There was a strange  
murky feeling inside his chest making him feel queasy and nervous.  
  
The book had fallen on the floor with the pages open. Usagi crawled  
over to the book and saw small, soft, smooth writing on the aging  
paper. What was this book about? She flicked back a few pages and  
also saw the same writing. The cursive letters beckoned her to read,  
so she gave in to her temptation and read the words.  
"... and a knight in shining armour, so to speak... handsome enough  
to suit the princess, her shy elegance and naivety filling his eyes  
with fascination, intrigue..." she whispered, the words making her  
speechless with awe. "She smiles and speaks to him softly.. the words  
making him laugh, not at her, but because what she said was so typical  
of her questioning character..."  
Usagi wondered what it was about. Dreamscapes, the book had been titled.  
What did that mean? Were these somebody's dreams? If so, Usagi suddenly  
felt incredibly guilty and regretful. Who's dreams were they then....?  
She suddenly heard a sharp rap on the door, snapping her out of her  
thoughts. Usagi's eyes flickered sharply to the grey door. Her fingers  
gripped the book.  
"Ma.. Mamoru san..?" her wavering voice called out.  
"Yes," his firm voice replied. "Are you done? Do you think I could  
get my things? I have to go to work soon.."  
"Of course! Sorry!" Usagi quickly answered, scolding herself for  
being so selfish. "I'll open the door now."  
Usagi grabbed the book and hugged it in her arms. She unlocked the  
door and it swung open immediately, almost surprising her. Mamoru  
strode into the room and consequently, walked straight into her.  
Usagi stumbled back, but Mamoru caught her before she fell. The book  
slipped out from her arms and fell hard on the carpet. It bounced  
a little, the loose sheets flying aimlessly about. Mamoru turned  
his attention to the book, his eyes focusing on the cover. He still  
held Usagi, one arm around her back and one hand holding her wrist.  
"Dreamscapes..." he murmured.  
Usagi's eyes watched his face for a reaction. He had none. After a  
pause, he turned to her and asked if she was all right. She nodded  
nervously. He let her go and picked up the book.  
"I.. I found it on your shelf," Usagi stammered, her trembling fingers  
gripping the bottom of her bathrobe. The fuzzy texture comforted her.  
"Did you read it?" he asked, looking at her with no expression but a  
blank, empty stare.  
She shook her head quickly. He simply nodded, then returned the book  
to its place. Usagi suddenly felt hot, her face burning.  
"I.. I.. was.. going to ask you..." she stammered as he walked over  
to get his things. "If.. I could read it... I.. I was about.. to..."  
He didn't reply, but paused in front of the door as he was about to  
leave. He seemed to be thinking about something and half turned to  
her, but then turned back and left. Usagi heard the front door closing  
quietly.  
  
----  
END OF PART 2  
----  
  
A.N. Oops, this went on for a bit too long -_-; I'm kind of repetitive  
with my reference to dreams and such, but don't be turned off! It won't  
be the same as my other stories! I promise! ^_^;  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 3 - Ignorance Can Be A Source Of Happiness  
  
Usagi rolled over and glanced at her clock, which  
read 8:00. Next to her clock was a photo frame with  
a photo of her and Tetsu. She reached out and grabbed  
the photo frame, hugging it tight. She closed her eyes,  
letting her mind fill with thoughts about Tetsu. Would  
he write to her? Tell her what he was doing and where  
he was? She doubted it, which made her feel so sad.  
Usagi loved him, but she didn't like feeling this doubt.  
Tetsu had changed and she would have to change to either  
suit him, or.... not. 


	4. Chapter 3 - Ignorance Can Be A Source Of...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 2:  
  
"For Chiba Mamoru, with love," Usagi read  
quietly, her heart nervously beating. "May  
your dreams be sweet, filled with beautiful  
and fascinating places to satisfy your curious  
mind."  
Usagi wondered if she was reading something  
personal of Mamoru's and whether it was right  
for her to keep on reading. Her fingers  
trembled as they refused her will to close the  
book.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 3 - Ignorance Can Be A Source Of Happiness  
  
Usagi sat on the grey carpet, still gazing at the door.  
She wasn't sure if she had upset Mamoru and she felt  
incredibly frustrated. He had looked at her with such  
blank eyes, probably disgusted at her for invading his  
privacy. The book, surely, was something personal to him.  
She sighed deeply, her breath trembling. She slowly got  
up and walked to her room. As Usagi approached the door,  
she saw a note stuck to it.  
"Some mocha ice cream if you get a little hungry.." she  
read. "In the freezer by the way."  
She tore the note off the door and felt incredibly guilty.  
Mamoru had kindly agreed to let her stay while Tetsu was  
away and here she was, taking advantage of him and his  
position to be kind to her. Of course Mamoru wouldn't  
have said anything about the book, because she was Tetsu's  
wife and his job was on the line if he had mistreated her  
in any way. She sighed as she pushed the door gently.  
Usagi flopped onto her bed, feeling her wet hair on her  
cheek. She had been so self centered and only thinking  
about herself in her poor situation, that she hadn't  
thought about him. Usagi promised herself to tell him  
the truth when he came home. She felt bad lying to  
somebody who was being so nice to her. Usagi rolled  
over and glanced at her clock, which read 8:00. Next to  
her clock was a photo frame with a photo of her and Tetsu.  
She reached out and grabbed the photo frame, hugging it  
tight. She closed her eyes, letting her mind fill with  
thoughts about Tetsu. Would he write to her? Tell her  
what he was doing and where he was? She doubted it, which  
made her feel so sad. Usagi loved him, but she didn't  
like feeling this doubt. Tetsu had changed and she would  
have to change to either suit him, or.... not.  
  
Mamoru sat in his car, waiting impatiently in peak hour  
traffic. He tapped his fingers irritably on the wheel.  
Suddenly, his phone rang. He picked it up just as the  
traffic started to move.  
"Tetsu!?" Mamoru shouted in surprise. "How are you?  
Usagi? She's doing okay I think. Why? Where are you?"  
A car swerved in front of Mamoru, irritating him even  
more. The traffic stopped once more. He listened to  
Tetsu tell him a few things to remember to settle  
at work and not to forget to look after some projects  
while he was gone. Mamoru didn't really pay attention  
as he scowled at the license plate in front of him.  
"Oh by the way Tetsu, why didn't you ring my house?  
Usagi would have been there to get it," Mamoru queried.  
"I don't particularly want to talk to her right now,  
I'm a bit busy."  
"But she said it was your three year anniversary  
yesterday.... Didn't you do or say anything?"  
"Mamoru this is none of your business. I don't have  
time for this. I'll talk to you later."  
Mamoru was left to hear the dial tone beeping in his  
ear. He frowned at the phone, then slipped it back  
in the glovebox. The traffic started to move once  
more and he almost smashed into the car in front of  
him out of frustration.  
  
Usagi yawned and felt her head feeling heavy and her  
eyes feeling a stabbing pain from the back of her head.  
Her chest felt tight and she couldn't breathe very well.  
She felt a burning sensation all over her body. Usagi  
managed to sit up and that was when she felt her back  
was wet and cold from her hair. She groaned and coughed.  
She had slept with wet hair and now she had a fever of  
some sort. Usagi managed to stand up, still feeling dizzy  
and put the photo frame on the bedside table. She dragged  
on a large jumper, then crawled into the bed. Usagi had  
no more energy left to look at the clock so she hoped  
Mamoru would come home soon. She felt so sick and groggy  
that she thought she would die if she didn't take any  
medicine soon. As Usagi lay there, her breaths short  
and gasping, she wondered why she was staying with Mamoru.  
Tetsu had mentioned him many more times than any other  
colleague, but she didn't know him at all and he didn't  
know her either. She had met him once before at some  
dinner and he was a little cool and silent. That was  
when Tetsu had been kinder to her. Usagi pulled the  
covers over her head and breathed in the stale air.  
  
When Mamoru returned from work, he found the apartment  
was cold, dark and quiet. He wondered where Usagi was  
and after dumping his things on the dining table, he  
checked out the food he left for her in the microwave.  
It had been untouched. He frowned, puzzled. Mamoru walked  
over to Usagi's room. The door was closed and he could  
hear nothing inside.  
"U.. Usagi.... san?" he asked. "Are you here?"  
Silence. He knocked on the door, then waited. Still silence.  
He opened the door slowly and quietly. It was dark in her  
room because the curtains had not been drawn open and only  
the light from the hallway helped Mamoru to see what was  
inside. He saw a small lump on the bed and raised an eyebrow.  
Mamoru walked quietly over to the lump on the bed and placed  
his hand carefully on it. The lump was warm. He figured it  
was Usagi. Was she asleep? He gently moved the covers away  
from her head, then saw that she was sweating and her breathing  
was in short intervals. Straight away, Mamoru felt her forehead.  
She had an incredible fever.  
"Usagi san? Usagi san?" he murmured to her, trying to wake her up.  
She didn't move at all.  
"Can you hear me?" he whispered. "Usagi san?"  
Mamoru waited for a while for a response. Usagi didn't respond in  
any way. He pulled the covers off her and saw her small huddled  
body. In her arms was a photo of her and Tetsu. He felt a stinging  
pain in his chest. He ignored the pain and rolled Usagi over onto  
her back and made sure she was lying straight and flat. She wore  
her bathrobe and a jumper on top, both of which were soaked either  
with water or sweat. Mamoru swore under his breath and glanced at  
Usagi's sleeping face. He managed to take off her jumper, heavy  
and soaked. Her face was red and the bare skin he could see was  
patchy.  
"It's too dark to see anything.... it doesn't matter.." he convinced  
himself as his hand nervously reached over to untie the bath robe.  
He tried his hardest not to look at her as he undressed her. Mamoru  
dashed to his room, grabbed one of his shirts, then dashed back.  
He carefully dressed her in his shirt, then carried her to his bed.  
Her bed was soaked with sweat and he would need to wash the sheets.  
After tucking her in, he returned to the kitchen to find some medicine.  
  
Usagi opened her eyes slowly as she felt somebody shaking her lightly  
and calling her name. Tetsu? She saw a pair of dark blue eyes looking  
at her. No... not Tetsu.. Her ears were a little blocked and the sound  
of the voice was muted.  
"Mamoru san?" she whispered hoarsely.  
A hand helped her sit up a little, tilting her head up. She felt a  
plastic cup held to her lips and thick liquid being poured into  
her mouth. She swallowed it, feeling it running down inside her.  
Usagi closed her eyes. She felt too tired to keep them open. A cold  
finger wiped some of the liquid away from her lips. She shivered.  
A wet towel was put on her forehead and it sent shivers down her  
spine. Her face felt as if it was burning and so did the rest of  
her body. She was hot, but also cold at the same time. Mamoru tucked  
her into the bed and watched her. He left her after a while, so he  
could set up the couch to sleep on.  
  
Mamoru walked quietly into the room to get his pyjamas. He heard  
Usagi murmuring something and he walked closer to her. She was talking  
in her sleep, groaning and flailing about.  
"Tetsu? Tetsu! Don't go..."  
He sat down on the bed next to her and gently stroked her hair. The  
towel was now warm, so he removed it. Usagi's eyes fluttered. He could  
barely see her in the darkness. She opened them a little, but then  
closed them again.  
"Tetsu? Is that you?" she whispered hopefully.  
Mamoru opened his mouth to say "no", but a part of him made him say "yes".  
Usagi started to breath slower and deeper. She smiled a little.  
"What are you doing back?"  
"I forgot to take something," Mamoru replied, feeling stupid.  
She giggled. "You're always in a rush, that's why Tetsu. Go slow. Relax."  
Mamoru felt her frail fingers lock into his. She squeezed his hand tight.  
"You're cold?" she asked.  
"No, not really."  
She placed his hand onto her cheek. His icy cold hand made her flinch a  
little. Mamoru wondered how he was going to get out of being 'Tetsu'.  
"Do you want to go to sleep?" he asked, hoping she would say yes.  
She shook her head. "Not yet. Not now that you're here."  
"I don't want to disturb you..."  
"Do you have to go now?"  
She sounded disappointed, her hand gripping his.  
"Not if you don't want me to."  
"You can go if you have to. I'll be okay."  
But Usagi started to cry. Mamoru sighed. He hadn't wanted to make her cry.  
Her hot tears ran down his hand.  
"Don't cry..."  
"Please don't leave me Tetsu. I love you so much... Don't you love me?"  
Mamoru tried to think fast, but he had no idea what he should say besides  
what he knew she wanted to hear.  
"Of course I love you," he told her.  
She relaxed a little and snuggled her face into his hand. Mamoru felt strange.  
The words slipped out so naturally, it surprised him. He had never ever said  
those words to anybody in his whole entire life. Mamoru wiped the tears away  
from her face, then remembered what had happened the last time he had been  
too close to her.  
"Good night," he whispered, then got up and left the room quickly.  
  
----  
END OF PART 3  
----  
  
A.N. The name of this part (if you're an Eva fan you'd recognise it) came  
from one of my favourite lines from Evangelion. It's when Fuytsuki says  
ignorance can be a source of happiness, after hearing Yui saying that Gendou  
is a "cute man, just that nobody knows it". This is basically what Usagi's  
feelings are to Tetsu and it kinda sums it all up. But hey, stupid me just  
realised that if you haven't watched Evangelion, I just a) spoilt it for  
you and b) made a completely useless title cos you won't know what I really  
mean -_-; Crud.  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 4 - There's Always More Than One Way  
  
Usagi looked at him nervously. She looked like she  
was going to cry. Mamoru sighed. Why did she always  
look like she was going to cry? It made him feel  
guilty as if he had done something to make her look  
like that.  
"I have to get to work," he told her, then started  
to walk out of the door.  
"Wait!" Usagi called him back, running over to him  
and grabbing his arm.  
Mamoru turned and looked at her, puzzled. She started  
sobbing quietly. Her thin fingers clutched his arm  
tighter and tighter. 


	5. Chapter 4 - There's Always More Than One...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 3:  
  
He sat down on the bed next to her and gently  
stroked her hair. The towel was now warm, so  
he removed it. Usagi's eyes fluttered. He could  
barely see her in the darkness. She opened them  
a little, but then closed them again.  
"Tetsu? Is that you?" she whispered hopefully.  
Mamoru opened his mouth to say "no", but a part  
of him made him say "yes". Usagi started to breath  
slower and deeper. She smiled a little.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 4 - There's Always More Than One Way  
  
Usagi sat up feeling groggy, but much better than before. She sat up  
and found herself wearing Mamoru's shirt. It hung loosely on her small  
body. She realised she was in his room. Her eyes slid over to the book  
shelf. The crimson coloured book beckoned her once more. Her heart beat  
nervously as she walked closer and closer to the shelf. She couldn't  
read it.. It was his.. Not hers to read. And she still hadn't told him  
that she had even read it. She stood there staring at the spine with  
elaborate gold writing. Then suddenly, the door opened slowly and Usagi  
snapped her head in that direction. Mamoru was doing up his tie and  
with a piece of toast in his mouth. She stared at him. He avoided looking  
at her.  
"Mamoru san..." she murmured.  
She was too nervous and scared to move. Twice now, he had found her near  
that book. But he hadn't noticed this time. Usagi knew she had to tell him  
that she had read it, but she couldn't bring up the courage.  
"Sleep well?" he asked as he took the toast out of his mouth.  
He took a bite from his toast and Usagi watched the crumbs falling onto the  
carpet near his feet. She nodded slowly in reply.  
"That's good. You were asleep for three days you know."  
Usagi didn't really quite register that fact. Mamoru wondered why she  
looked so torn. He continued eating his toast.  
"Are you hungry?" he asked.  
Usagi shook her head. Mamoru then saw his watch on the bedside table.  
He walked over and took it. When he walked back to the door, Usagi was still  
looking like she wanted to say something.  
"What?" he asked, then finished eating his toast.  
Usagi looked at him nervously. She looked like she was going to cry. Mamoru  
sighed. Why did she always look like she was going to cry? It made him feel  
guilty as if he had done something to make her look like that.  
"I have to get to work," he told her, then started to walk out of the door.  
"Wait!" Usagi called him back, running over to him and grabbing his arm.  
Mamoru turned and looked at her, puzzled. She started sobbing quietly.  
Her thin fingers clutched his arm tighter and tighter.  
"Was it something I said?" he asked curiously.  
She shook her head and kept her head lowered. Usagi bit her lip and tried  
to stop the tears from falling. She felt Mamoru's hand gently stroking her  
hair to comfort her. He looked at her and wondered what was wrong.  
"I'm sorry..." she murmured between sobs. "I'm sorry... I'm... so.. rry.."  
"About what?"  
Mamoru gave her time to reply. And she finally let go of his arm to wipe  
away her tears.  
"I read your book.. I lied.... I'm sorry.." she whispered, almost choking  
on her own words.  
He stared at her, surprised. She was crying because she had read his book?  
That was it? For a second he felt angry that she had read it, but he didn't  
stay angry for long.  
"You didn't have to cry," he murmured, then squeezed her nose.  
Usagi looked at him, startled. She rubbed her nose.  
"Aren't you mad at me? Wasn't that book something personal?" she asked.  
He just smiled. "It's all right. Obviously you read it the right way."  
His comforting smile made her smile back. There was a silence between  
them as Usagi rubbed her eyes with her sleeve.  
"Anyway, I have to get to work," he told her, then turned around to leave.  
She followed him out of the door. Mamoru grabbed his bag, keys and phone  
from the table. Usagi watched as he opened the front door.  
"Um... Mamoru san?" she called out to him just before he closed the door.  
He turned around. "Hm?"  
"I... I thought it was beautiful.." she smiled.  
For a second, Mamoru didn't know what she meant, but then realised.  
He paused and thought about what he should say in reply.  
"Then I'm glad you read it."  
Mamoru closed the door and left, feeling a little dizzy from all the  
emotion. He wasn't good with dealing with it, let alone first thing in  
the morning. But she made him smile. She made him feel glad that she had  
been the one to read it.  
  
During the drive to the office, Mamoru got caught in traffic once more.  
He stared out at the busy freeway scenery and found himself deep in  
thought. It had even been a while since Mamoru had written in that book.  
The book of dreams. His dreams. Dreams of her. Ten years ago, he had  
stopped writing because she had stopped appearing in his dreams. The girl,  
the princess. He tried to concentrate on the road as a blaring horn snapped  
him out of his thoughts. The lights were green. Mamoru sped forward, then  
was suddenly stopped by some workers on the road. He groaned. He drummed  
his fingers impatiently on the wheel. And as he emptied his mind, thoughts  
of her returned. Mamoru had never been in love for the thirty years he had  
lived. Never ever. Not once. Maybe it had been because he never really let  
anybody care about him. But the princess from his dreams. She was different.  
If Mamoru had to name one girl he had ever loved, it would have been her.  
But he felt like an idiot. He was in love with a figment of his imagination.  
A girl he could never meet or know. And besides, the princess was in love  
with somebody else. It made him almost jealous of the prince who suited her  
so perfectly. He was jealous because the only girl he ever loved was already  
taken and it was his own mind that had made it that way. The dream was  
controlled by him and why had he made it so that he couldn't have the  
only thing he had ever wanted? He didn't know why. But ten years ago, the  
dreams had ceased. His life had seemed so empty. Not worth living. And five  
years later, he had been hired by Tetsu. And met Usagi. He remembered that  
she had seemed much happier, much... more content?  
  
Suddenly, Mamoru felt a jolt that woke him up from his thoughts. His body  
was knocked forward, then pulled back. He looked behind him and saw a car  
crashed into the back of his.  
"No, no, no, no, no.... Please, no..." he muttered.  
Mamoru quickly got out and inspected the damage. His precious car had been  
scratched and disfigured. He sighed.  
"Sorry," he heard a female voice next to him.  
He turned and saw a woman dressed smartly, looking a little older than him.  
She had emerald green eyes that sparkled confidently at him. She had short,  
silky blonde hair. Somehow, she seemed familiar. Mamoru frowned.  
"I'll pay for it," she offered casually. "I'm really sorry."  
"That's fine," he brushed away the offer with equal carelessness.  
Her familiarity bothered him.  
"Where do you work?" she asked. "I think I've seen you before."  
"I work.. At Pegasus. Architectural design."  
"Hmmm. Well, I don't know anyone in architecture. My name's Sharla,  
I'm with the Federal Court of Justice."  
She held out her hand. He took it and shook her hand. A lawyer?  
He didn't know any lawyers.  
"Sharla..." he murmured. "I know you from somewhere.."  
But she was leaning forward, looking at where her car had driven into his  
and wasn't listening. Mamoru kept looking at her, hoping he'd remember.  
When Sharla turned around, she found him gazing blankly at her. She smiled.  
"Mamoru, I take this as an insult," she laughed, then clicked her fingers  
in front of his eyes.  
He stared at her in shock. He honestly couldn't remember who she was.  
"I even gave you my name!" she frowned, folding her arms and looking  
impatient.  
"Sorry, it's just not a good day today...." he muttered.  
"Don't worry. There's always more than one way to get through a bad day.  
Remember?" Sharla smiled at him.  
Mamoru did remember. He had never forgotten her trademark quote. Sharla.  
His university lecturer. The one who had given him that book. She had  
been like a sister or a mother to him. Neither of which he had never had.  
Sharla watched his face remember her.  
"And then there was light," she giggled. "Obviously I didn't mean very  
much to you."  
"Oh God, I'm sorry Sharla!" Mamoru quickly told her. "I just.. I just um  
forgot."  
He looked at her, embarrassed for forgetting her.  
"That's okay Mamoru. I believe you. Besides, I don't really have the right  
to be insulted that you don't remember me," she murmured.  
Mamoru felt a sharp pain in his heart. Was that an apology? He didn't know.  
  
Meanwhile, Usagi sat on Mamoru's bed, staring at the crimson spine. She had  
told him, finally, that she had read it. He had not minded, but did that mean  
she could read more? She wanted to. It was beautiful. It eased her broken  
heart, to know that somebody else felt exactly the same. Somebody... Somebody  
she knew. But Usagi had never imagined that Mamoru would have had a lost love  
in his life. She wanted to read the book badly, but she was afraid of reading  
something she wasn't supposed to. What if.. just what if there was something  
there that she didn't want to read? It would be too late then.  
"Dreamscapes..." Usagi murmured, her eyes unable to leave the book.  
Then she stood up and grabbed the book from the shelf. She crawled over onto  
the bed and opened up the book from the beginning and started to read.  
  
Mamoru sat at his desk, deep in thought. He drank another cup of coffee and  
tried to get some work done, but there were too many things cluttering his  
mind to even think about work. First, it had been Usagi. Then there was  
the princess and his dreams. And now, Sharla. She had been his lecturer  
for psychology, even though he had quit after the first year. The subject  
depressed Mamoru. But he and Sharla had remained friends and they did,  
at one point, become close. Mamoru didn't even want to think about that.  
He didn't want to remind himself that he had lost control that one time in  
his life. Sharla was older than him and she had been the one controlling  
their relationship. He was just intrigued by the way her mind worked and  
he somehow ended up attracted to her. But he didn't admit that he loved her.  
He probably didn't. He still didn't want to admit it. He was afraid to admit  
he had every loved anyone. It was easier for him to think that he hadn't been  
in love, and then forget it just like that. Obviously Sharla had regretted  
that incident. Mamoru still didn't want to forgive her for what she did to  
him. Maybe it was because if he forgave her, then he would want her back in  
his life. And he was afraid of that.  
  
When Mamoru returned home from work, he found Usagi asleep on his bed. She lay,  
sprawled comfortably. He smiled to himself, amused. She was like a cat. A stray  
cat he had taken into his own home to look after. Then a book under her arms  
caught his eye. His book. She was reading it... again? Mamoru walked quietly  
over to the sleeping figure and just looked at her. He wasn't sure whether he  
was supposed to be angry at her for invading his privacy or grateful that she  
had read it. He had written the book with the intention of it being read. But  
at the time, he had wanted Sharla to read it. But that was years ago. And he  
had kept the book, waiting until he would find someone to read it and appreciate  
him for who he was. Although the book was about his dreams of his true love, his  
princess, the words were about him. They revealed who he was, his  
thoughts and feelings. He had never expected somebody to read it without him  
making sure it was the right person. Ironically, the book had found her for him.  
But what did that mean? Mamoru had only ever thought of the right person as the  
right person for him. So if she had found the book.... Then did that mean he  
was supposed to accept the fact that the right person had found him? He gazed  
at the sleeping Usagi. She murmured something. A name. Tetsu. Mamoru didn't  
know what to do. He watched as Usagi stirred and opened her eyes sleepily.  
She saw him and sat up, blushing from embarrassment. Then she realised that  
the book was there, open and visible to him.  
"I'm sorry, but I just had to read it... It's impossible for me to tear myself  
away from this book," Usagi whispered to him.  
But Mamoru wasn't really listening. He was so immersed in his thoughts that  
he could only see her lips moving and nothing else. He didn't hear anything.  
"It's so beautiful," Usagi smiled, unaware of the fact that Mamoru wasn't  
listening. "I just can't believe that anyone could write anything this beautiful!  
And it's like a dream... I mean.. It is, isn't it? It's your dreams isn't it?"  
Usagi frowned curiously at him. Was he listening? He gazed at her, his eyes  
looking empty. She felt a chill down her spine. Was he angry at her for reading  
his book? She nervously reached out and touched his arm.  
"Mamoru san? Are you angry?" she asked him.  
His arm flinched as her delicate hand touched it.  
"Are you okay?" she frowned. "You look.. a little tired."  
Mamoru looked down at her worried face. She looked up at him, her curious blue  
eyes reminding him so much of the princess. Suddenly he wasn't sure who was  
looking at him. His princess, or his work mate's wife. But then, did he really  
care? All he had ever wanted was to find the girl from his dream turn into reality.  
And she was there, wasn't she? Right in front of him. He grabbed her and held her  
small body tightly against him.  
"Mamoru san, is there something wro...."  
But Usagi couldn't finish what she was saying because his lips had silenced hers.  
  
----  
END OF PART 4  
----  
  
A.N. How's that for gooey satisfaction ^_- Now Minako chan, put down that chainsaw!  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't know?  
  
"Tetsu... Before you go.."  
"Hm?"  
"Do you love your wife?"  
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."  
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.  
"Because I do..." he murmured. 


	6. Chapter 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. I know this is very Mamoru orientated, more than  
an Usa/Mamo fic but lately I've been having fun writing  
about Mamoru more than Usagi ^_^ Besides, too much Mamoru  
is never a bad thing, right?  
  
And wow after reading your reviews, I read over to see how teasery  
I had left and oh my god i did ^^; heh.. uhh sorry?  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 4:  
  
She looked up at him, her curious blue  
eyes reminding him so much of the princess.  
Suddenly he wasn't sure who was looking at  
him. His princess, or his work mate's wife.  
But then, did he really care?  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't Know?  
  
Mamoru stood outside on the kerb. He watched as dark clouds rolled  
into vision. It was humid. And it was going to rain.  
"How many ways are there to get through a bad day?" he whispered.  
He couldn't count them. He couldn't even count one. People pushed  
past him as they crossed the road. Then, it began to rain. More  
people jostled around him as they moved busily across the street.  
One man pushed Mamoru so hard that he fell back into a puddle.  
Mamoru sat there on the ground, feeling the rain seep into his clothes.  
He was lost. He didn't care. He had felt this way so many times in his  
life that he started to feel glad that that helpless feeling had come  
back. He felt sick. Mamoru finally stood up. He walked down the empty  
sidewalk in a direction he didn't really think about. He just walked.  
He felt cold, but he kept walking. As he walked out onto the road, a  
car nearly missed him. Mamoru hurried onto the other side. He sat  
down at a bus stop. Then, he heard his mobile ringing. The artificial  
shrill was hard to ignore. Mamoru answered.  
"Mamoru, it's Tetsu," he heard the voice he didn't want to hear.  
Mamoru didn't reply. He just sat there, dripping.  
"You there? Mamoru?"  
"Yeah.."  
"Well I'm coming back early. I'll be back in two days."  
"Great."  
"You sound enthusiastic," Tetsu replied sarcastically. "What's wrong?  
Everything okay back at the office?"  
"Yeah.."  
"Then?"  
"You don't want to know."  
"Sure I do."  
"Not this one."  
"Okay, well Mamoru, I have to go now. I've got to go to a meeting."  
"Tetsu... Before you go.."  
"Hm?"  
"Do you love your wife?"  
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."  
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.  
"Because I do..." he murmured.  
Mamoru heard a child laughing at him. He turned and saw a little boy  
and a young mother. He turned back and continued staring at the drizzling  
rain. He didn't know himself any more. He didn't know what he wanted.  
And he certainly didn't know how to deal with it. He had just admitted  
to himself that he was in love with Usagi, Tetsu's wife. How had that  
happened? Sure, he thought she looked like his princess, but did that  
mean he was in love with Usagi? He shook his head and cleared his mind.  
He didn't really want to think about it. He would deal with it later.  
Later? When was that? Maybe later was when he would make himself deal  
with it. For the time being, Mamoru just wanted to think about nothing.  
  
Usagi still remained where Mamoru had left her. She sat on his fluffy,  
soft doona. Her eyes stared blankly at the book. The smooth writing  
didn't beckon her any more. But a particular passage caught her eye.  
"I don't know if she loves me, but I'll still love her the same. Just  
being able to see her is enough for me. To see her eyes so blue and  
her hair like golden rays of sunlight....." Usagi read slowly and  
softly.  
His princess, his true love. And she looked just like her. Was that why?  
Was that why he had held her so tight? And kissed her? She could still  
feel his arms around her and the taste of coffee in her mouth. Her lips  
were trembling from shock. Usagi didn't really know what to think.  
She wasn't angry at Mamoru because it hadn't been his fault that she  
looked like his lost love. So if she wasn't angry, then what? The sudden  
crack of thunder and lightning made Usagi jump. She looked outside the  
window. It was dark and grey. The rain fell heavily. Since when had it  
started to rain? Usagi wondered if Mamoru was walking around in the  
rain right now. She felt incredibly guilty. She didn't want him to be  
feeling regret for kissing her. Usagi understood how he felt. How he  
must have longed to hold, touch or even kiss the only girl he had every  
wanted. Just the way she felt about Tetsu. Her husband. Somehow she  
didn't think the kiss was wrong at all. In fact, she felt that it was  
the only thing that had offered her any answers to those thoughts  
spinning around in her mind.  
  
The buzzer suddenly echoed into the room. Usagi sat up and frowned.  
Who could it be? Had Mamoru come back? She hoped so. She wanted to  
clear things up with him. Usagi hurried to the door and opened it.  
She stared at a woman standing outside. A woman with emerald green  
eyes and short blond hair. And the woman stared back at her. At a  
girl dressed only in Mamoru's shirt.  
"Is this Mamoru's place?" the woman asked, recovering from her  
initial shock.  
Usagi nodded and wondered who the woman was. She looked much older  
than her and even older than Mamoru.  
"Who are you?" the woman asked harshly.  
"I'm staying here temporarily. I'm Mamoru's colleague's wife," Usagi  
replied defensively.  
Then, the woman laughed. Her emerald green eyes sparkled in relief.  
Usagi frowned.  
"Who are you?" she asked the woman.  
"I'm Mamoru's friend, shall I say. I just met up with him today after  
losing in touch with him. I thought I'd drop by. Is he home?"  
Usagi shook her head. "Sorry."  
"Any idea where he went?"  
"No."  
"Oh."  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
"Would you like to come in?" Usagi asked.  
"Sure," the woman smiled.  
  
Mamoru wandered around the streets. He passed a florist and some red  
roses in the window caught his eye. He stopped and stood outside,  
gazing at them. He turned and walked into the store.  
"Hi," a young man smiled. "May I help you?"  
The store was warm and smelt comfortable. Mamoru relaxed a little.  
"May I buy a rose?" he asked. "A red one."  
"Certainly."  
He watched as the young man picked out a rose, wrapped it in some  
clear plastic and handed it over to him. Mamoru gave him the money  
and took the rose. It smelt beautiful. He smiled a little.  
"Thanks."  
He left the store and started to walk under shelters to prevent his  
rose from getting wet.  
  
"My name is Sharla Winterman," the woman smiled. "I knew Mamoru at  
university."  
Usagi nodded and smiled back. She had changed into her own clothes  
after the embarrassment of being asked why she was only wearing  
Mamoru's shirt. It didn't look good.  
"I was his lecturer. For psychology," Sharla continued, her eyes  
twinkling. "We were quite close... But well, I guess I obviously  
wasn't that special to him."  
"I didn't know Mamoru studied psychology," Usagi murmured.  
"He did for a year. But then quit. He didn't like it."  
Usagi nodded.  
"Do you know him well?" Sharla asked, taking a sip of the coffee  
she had been offered.  
"Not really. I'd only met him once or twice before now," Usagi  
admitted.  
Sharla nodded, satisfied.  
"Aren't you lucky your husband left you with Mamoru?" Sharla giggled.  
Usagi wasn't sure what she meant so she didn't reply.  
"He'd take good care of you because you look like her.."  
"Who's her?" Usagi frowned.  
"His love, his princess," Sharla replied in an annoyed tone.  
Usagi wondered who Sharla was to know so much about Mamoru. She didn't  
think Mamoru would have dated women from what Tetsu had told her.  
"If only I hadn't screwed up with him... I'd probably still have him,"  
Sharla sighed.  
Usagi didn't really want to listen, but she didn't want to be rude so  
she kept quiet.  
"Are you in love with him?" Usagi asked quietly, after a pause.  
Sharla turned to her and shrugged.  
"I don't think so. He was just a nice guy. Besides, I'm married.  
I was married when I first met Mamoru. That was how I'd hurt him."  
Hearing those words shocked Usagi. How could Sharla betray her husband?  
She didn't understand. She couldn't understand. She didn't want to.  
"What about you?" Sharla bounced the question back at her.  
"What about me?" Usagi frowned, a little defensively.  
"Are you in love with Mamoru?"  
"Of course not! I'm married!" Usagi shouted angrily. "How could you  
even think that!? I don't understand you at all!"  
Sharla chuckled, amused by Usagi's reaction.  
"You two would make a good couple. You think alike."  
"I think anybody with morals thinks the same," Usagi muttered with disgust.  
She hoped Sharla hadn't hear, but she had. But Sharla pretended not to have  
heard Usagi. She didn't care about a stupid girl. All she wanted was Mamoru.  
  
Eventually the rain eased and Mamoru found himself walking back to the  
apartment. He wanted to deal with Usagi now. He had had enough of thinking  
empty thoughts. She had seemed startled and shocked when he had left her.  
He hoped she had understood. He hadn't meant for his emotions to gain  
control of his mind. But he had the feeling that if she had read his book,  
she would have understood. Because didn't she know how he felt? Being in  
love with somebody he could not reach. Even Usagi had done the same mistake  
to him, by kissing him when she thought he was Tetsu. It had been the  
exact same thing. Just that with Mamoru, he had realised he was falling in  
love with Usagi. And that kiss had awakened his feelings for her.  
  
Sharla answered the door when Mamoru returned. Usagi could hear their voices  
from her room. She had left her door ajar. Mamoru sounded a little pleased  
with the surprise visitor.  
"Is this rose for me?" Sharla teased him.  
"No," Mamoru blushed. "Sorry."  
Mamoru avoided her advances on him and walked straight past her.  
"Mamoru I have to talk to you," she told him seriously.  
He looked at her, puzzled. Sharla sat down on the couch and gestured for  
him to join her. He sat down beside her obediently.  
"I was thinking about us..." Sharla whispered.  
"There is no us," Mamoru replied bluntly. "If that's what you came here  
for, then leave. I don't want to talk to you Sharla. I'm not in love with  
you and I never will be."  
"Because of her?"  
She saw the confusion in his expression.  
"Your dear beloved princess," Sharla reminded him.  
"Sharla, you're married. That in itself is a fact that you should start to  
think about," Mamoru told her coldly and started to get up.  
Sharla pulled him back down, tugging sharply at his arm. He shook her off  
and walked over to the door. He opened it.  
"Get out Sharla."  
Sharla sighed, then started walking slowly towards Mamoru and the door.  
"If only I had blue eyes," she grinned at him. "Then you'd be mine in a  
second."  
Mamoru swallowed hard and contained himself. He watched Sharla leave and  
slammed the door behind her. How she expected him to crawl at her feet  
once more was a mystery to him. Then, Mamoru heard the careful sound of  
a door closing. He looked around and his eyes rested on Usagi's door.  
Had she heard everything? Was she listening?  
  
Usagi heard a gentle knock on her bedroom door. She opened it slowly,  
her eyes meeting with Mamoru's worried eyes. She smiled.  
"Can I come in?" Mamoru asked.  
Usagi simply nodded and let him in. She closed the door.  
"If it's about.. what... happened," Usagi murmured. "I know. I understand."  
Mamoru sighed in relief. So she wasn't angry at him. But he wondered why  
she looked incredibly calm and relaxed with him.  
"You aren't.. upset about what I did?" he asked.  
"No, of course not. I mean I did it to you the first night I was here,"  
she smiled softly. "It's okay."  
"But wait, I.." Mamoru opened his mouth to tell her how he felt.  
Usagi walked up to him and placed her finger on his lips.  
"It's okay, I know," she smiled.  
Mamoru took her hand away, holding her wrist gently. Usagi was getting  
used to his cold hands now. Her warmth comforted him.  
"Tetsu rang me," he spoke up. "He said he's coming back in two days."  
"Really?" Usagi murmured.  
Mamoru nodded and looked at her. He didn't let go of her wrist.  
"Could you do me a favour Mamoru san?" Usagi asked him quietly.  
"Anything," he smiled.  
"Can we go out to dinner tomorrow night?" she whispered, as if she  
was afraid that Tetsu would hear it. "Since it will be the last  
time we'll be together. I want to thank you for letting me stay  
here and looking after me."  
"It'll be my pleasure," Mamoru replied, barely moving his lips as  
their eyes stayed fixed onto each other.  
Usagi felt him bringing her hand to his lips. There was a comfortable  
understanding that they shared. The understanding that they both had  
what the other wanted.  
  
----  
END OF PART 5  
----  
  
A.N. Now Minako chan, don't get out your chainsaw again x_x; And yes, the  
next part will be the end! *huahuahauhaua* Yes I'm evil. So what else is new?  
The ending I guess was a little... weird? Don't worry, it gets weirder in  
the next part ^_-;  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 6 - Do You Choose This Man...  
  
He leaned against the wall and rang home. Usagi answered,  
sounding overly enthusiastic at the sound of his voice.  
It made him so hopeful that it made him feel pathetic that  
he wanted somebody else's wife.  
"Usagi," he murmured without the formalities. "I'm caught  
up in a conference and I don't know how long it'll last.  
We're going to have to cancel dinner. I'm sorry."  
"Oh.." her voice fell.  
Mamoru wished she'd stop making him feel hopeful. 


	7. Chapter 6 - Do You Choose This Man...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. I know this is very Mamoru orientated, more than  
an Usa/Mamo fic but lately I've been having fun writing  
about Mamoru more than Usagi ^_^ Besides, too much Mamoru  
is never a bad thing, right?  
  
Thanks for the reviews people ^_^  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 5:  
  
"Can we go out to dinner tomorrow night?" she whispered,  
as if she was afraid that Tetsu would hear it. "Since it  
will be the last time we'll be together. I want to thank  
you for letting me stay here and looking after me."  
"It'll be my pleasure," Mamoru replied, barely moving his  
lips as their eyes stayed fixed onto each other.  
Usagi felt him bringing her hand to his lips. There was a  
comfortable understanding that they shared. The understanding  
that they both had what the other wanted.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 6 - Do You Choose This Man...  
  
Mamoru sat in the conference room, tapping his fingers impatiently.  
He glanced at his watch. It was six. Usagi had made the booking for  
seven. They were going to go to an Italian restaurant for dinner.  
He was looking forward to it because it felt like Usagi was the one  
who was going to miss him more than he would miss her. Otherwise,  
why would she have asked to let him take her out to dinner? He was  
a little hopeful, knowing she was in love with Tetsu and married  
for that matter. But any reason was enough to make him think she  
had changed her feelings since the first time she had arrived at  
his place.  
"Mamoru san, can you please stop tapping your fingers?" his co-worker  
whispered. "It's rude!"  
"I don't have time for this," Mamoru frowned. "I have to get back home."  
"Why?"  
"I'm going out to dinner."  
"That can wait."  
"No it can't!" Mamoru shouted irritably, slamming his hands on the desk.  
Everybody looked at him strangely. He realised what he had done.  
"Sorry, I'll just excuse myself. I need to make a call. I'll be right  
back," he smiled politely and left the room quickly.  
He leaned against the wall and rang home. Usagi answered, sounding  
overly enthusiastic at the sound of his voice. It made him so hopeful  
that it made him feel pathetic that he wanted somebody else's wife.  
"Usagi," he murmured without the formalities. "I'm caught up in a  
conference and I don't know how long it'll last. We're going to have  
to cancel dinner. I'm sorry."  
"Oh.." her voice fell.  
Mamoru wished she'd stop making him feel hopeful.  
"Well that's okay," she replied cheerfully. "I'll be waiting for you."  
Her words struck deep inside his heart. To him, they sounded like a  
married couple.  
"You can call me any time," he told her. "I have to go now. Bye."  
"Bye Mamoru."  
He hung up and sighed. Why she had ever married Tetsu still bothered him.  
Tetsu didn't deserve a girl like Usagi at all. Mamoru returned to the  
conference to find that he had to write out an annual report.  
  
"Mamoru san, are you listening to me?" the man he had been forced to  
work with asked. "I've got the figures here..."  
Mamoru didn't want to hear anything about the annual report. It wasn't  
his duty and he wanted to get back home to see Usagi. Tomorrow morning,  
Tetsu would be back and he would never ever be able to be with Usagi.  
"Look, I don't care! Why don't you write it!?" Mamoru snapped at the man.  
The man backed away. Mamoru walked over to the window and leaned against  
the cool glass. Suddenly, his phone rang.  
"Hello?" Mamoru answered in a dull tone.  
"Mamoru?"  
It was Usagi.  
"Sorry, I'm still here. Apparently I have to write some annual report.  
I have no idea why," he told her and glared at the man as he said it  
loudly.  
The man frowned back.  
"That's okay. Anyway, Tetsu just rang me and he said he wants me home  
tonight. So you don't have to make two trips when we pick him up from  
the airport. Would you be able to come back for about half an hour just  
to drop me back home?" Usagi explained.  
Mamoru wasn't prepared to let her go just yet.  
"Uh, sure yeah. I'll be back home as soon as possible."  
"Thanks."  
Mamoru hung up and walked towards the door.  
"Where the hell are you going?" he heard the man ask, annoyed.  
"I have to go home for a while. I'll be back," Mamoru replied carelessly.  
"What, was that your wife?"  
Mamoru ignored that question and left.  
  
When Mamoru arrived home, Usagi was already packed and ready to leave.  
They left immediately. Mamoru drove in silence. Usagi was a little quiet  
so he didn't try to make her talk.  
"I really did want to have dinner tonight," she sighed sadly.  
"Me too," he smiled.  
"Tetsu and I never have dinner together any more..." Usagi murmured. "It  
would have been nice."  
At the mention if Tetsu's name, Mamoru winced. So she still loved him?  
They were silent for a while after that. Finally, Usagi spoke up again.  
"You really loved her didn't you?" she asked him. "The princess, I mean."  
Mamoru nodded.  
"The things you wrote were really beautiful," she smiled. "Tetsu would  
never write anything like that."  
"You still love him?" he asked, glancing over to her.  
"Yeah," she nodded.  
"What if you weren't married to him?" Mamoru asked.  
There was no reply. He wondered if he had asked the wrong thing.  
"If I wasn't married to him?" Usagi repeated the question to herself.  
Mamoru looked onto the road, then glanced back to her.  
"I don't know really," she laughed.  
  
Usagi realised she missed the house so much. Everywhere she looked at  
contained memories of some sort. They nearly made her cry. Mamoru followed  
her into the master bedroom with her luggage. He wondered why she was so  
quiet all of a sudden. Usagi drew the curtains open and let in the moon  
light. It was a full moon. Mamoru turned on the light. Usagi turned around.  
"Could you turn it off?" she asked him. "I want to enjoy the moon light."  
He turned it off. The room was dim. He saw her silhouette against the  
moon light. He smiled. She was so beautiful. Mamoru wondered what he was  
supposed to do to tell her how he felt about her. She had Tetsu and he  
couldn't do anything to break them apart. It was wrong. He felt just like  
he did in his dreams. Jealous of Tetsu. Tetsu was the prince in his dream,  
the one who had his princess. What had been the last dream he had? The  
last dream he had was the one where he had found the princess crying.  
The prince was nowhere in sight. Mamoru had comforted her. And that was it.  
What did it mean? He wasn't entirely sure. He walked closer to Usagi,  
who was leaning against the glass. She sighed.  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
"Nothing..." she murmured.  
Mamoru looked at her.  
"Will you be all right on your own?" he asked.  
She nodded. Somehow, he didn't believe her.  
"Mamoru..." she whispered.  
"Hm?"  
She held out her hand. He took her hand and squeezed it gently.  
"I don't think I will be all right..." Usagi sighed. "I can't stop thinking.  
About Tetsu.. About.. About everything."  
Mamoru pulled her close to him and held her. He stroked her hair gently  
and still held her hand. Usagi lay her head on his chest, relaxed. She closed  
her eyes. Why did she feel at ease with Mamoru? He was so comforting.  
"Mamoru... could you stay with me tonight? This room just... it reminds me  
of Tetsu," Usagi whispered.  
"Of course I'll stay," he replied reassuringly.  
Usagi lifted her head to look at him. She smiled. He smiled back.  
"Thank you."  
Mamoru leaned down and kissed her hair softly. He wasn't sure what he was  
trying to say by doing it, but he just gave in to his urge. Usagi didn't feel  
afraid at all. It made her feel warm. She felt his hand slide down from her  
hair to her cheek. His cold fingers sent a shiver down her back. He held her  
cheek and just gazed at her. Usagi wasn't sure why, but she didn't feel any  
need to repel him. She didn't feel that it was wrong.  
"Usagi..." he whispered.  
He opened his mouth to say something else when his phone rang. They both jumped  
and Mamoru let go of her. He answered his phone, turning away from her.  
"Are you coming back?" he recognised the man who was helping him with the  
annual report.  
"Sorry. I'm busy."  
And Mamoru hung up. Usagi was a little surprised by it.  
"Who was that?" she asked curiously.  
"The guy doing the annual report," he replied.  
She nodded.  
"I'll go make some coffee," Mamoru suggested.  
"Thanks," Usagi smiled.  
  
Mamoru stood in the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to finish boiling. He sighed.  
Tomorrow, Usagi would be back with Tetsu and Mamoru would have to try and  
forget about her. It wasn't fair. Life was never fair. And he was certainly not  
going to persuade Usagi's feelings towards him. The last person he wanted to  
have against him was Tetsu. As stupid as it was, he would have to sacrifice  
his feelings to continue working with Tetsu. Well, if he did it before with Sharla,  
he could do it again couldn't he? He could just deny he had any feelings. But it  
was too late. Mamoru had already admitted his feelings. And he knew he couldn't  
just forget about them. The phone suddenly rang. Mamoru's head jerked around,  
looking for a phone. He found one on the kitchen wall.  
"Hello?" Mamoru answered slowly.  
"Mamoru?" he heard Tetsu's uncertain voice.  
"Yeah, it's me."  
"Are you there to drop off Usagi?" Tetsu asked.  
"Yeah. I'm making some coffee, but well..."  
"All right, I see. Thanks for dropping off Usagi. I figured it would save you a few  
trips tomorrow anyway."  
"Yeah, no problems."  
"Can I talk to Usagi please?"  
"Um.. Usagi?"  
"Yes, Usagi."  
"Okay... I'll get her.." Mamoru mumbled, a little confused.  
Tetsu never wanted to talk to Usagi. What did he want? Mamoru felt a little curious.  
He walked up the stairs to get her. She was standing by the window, watching the  
stars.  
"Usagi?" he murmured.  
She turned around and smiled.  
"Tetsu's on the phone for you," he told her.  
"Tetsu?" she repeated.  
He nodded.  
"Thanks," she smiled and immediately hurried past him.  
  
Mamoru just stood there, looking at where she had stood. He felt sick. Being in love  
with somebody's wife was not an easy thing to do. Especially when it was one sided.  
He sat down on the end of the bed, too weak to do anything else. No sooner had  
Mamoru sat down, his mobile phone rang. He wondered if it was the annual report guy.  
He answered and to his surprise, it was Sharla.  
"I just thought I'd give you a call to say I know I stuffed things up between us again,  
but I want to keep in touch," she told him. "As friends of course."  
Mamoru wasn't sure whether this was a trap to lure him in. He wasn't thinking straight  
at the moment and didn't know what to do.  
"As friends, I guess it would be okay," he replied hesitantly.  
"Great," Sharla laughed. "So how are things with you and that princess girl?"  
"Princess girl? Oh, you mean Usagi? Sharla, you know she has nothing to do with the  
princess."  
"Oh, no of course not Mamoru. She just happens to look a lot like her."  
"I thought we were trying to be friends," he scowled.  
"You know I love to tease you Mamoru."  
"I know, I know."  
"So? How are things with you and her? I mean it's obvious you're in love with the girl."  
"I'm.. not!" Mamoru denied it.  
"You are too. She's just too naive and innocent to realise. That girl is so devoted to  
marriage it makes me wonder," Sharla giggled.  
"You make me wonder Sharla!" Mamoru raised his voice. "I'm not the one who goes  
behind somebody's back to take advantage of someone else! I would never ruin any  
marriage, whether it be mine or someone else's, just for my own benefit! And even  
if I did love her, I'd never say anything because it would just hurt her and all involved!"  
Mamoru then hung up, too angry to keep talking to her. Sharla never understood.  
He turned around to put his phone back when he saw Usagi standing at the door,  
staring at him. She looked bewildered. He just looked at her, unable to say a thing.  
Finally, she spoke.  
"Um... Tetsu says that.. he'll be catching a taxi home. And... he wants me to have  
the house cleaned and everything before hand. He's coming back at eleven...."  
"I see," Mamoru nodded. "Well I think I should go then. I don't think I want to be  
here when Tetsu comes back."  
"Why?" Usagi asked him.  
"I just.. I don't know. I'm getting tired anyway."  
Usagi nodded. Mamoru just walked past her and walked slowly down the stairs.  
He didn't expect her to follow him.  
  
Usagi stood there, unable to move. Who had Mamoru been talking to? She only  
heard the last thing he said, about not telling 'her' even if he loved her. Was he  
talking about herself? Usagi wasn't sure and she didn't know if she wanted to  
find out. She still loved Tetsu and after talking to him, she knew she had missed him.  
She didn't even know what she felt for Mamoru or Tetsu. But Tetsu was coming home  
and that was all that mattered now, wasn't it?  
  
----  
END OF PART 6  
----  
  
A.N. Okay, I know.... I lied!!!!! I told you it was gonna end and I didn't o_O  
It'll go on for another 3 chapters ^^;; *cough cough cough* To tell you the truth,  
the original ending just seemed like Mamoru and Usagi had an affair so now i'm changing  
it to include more of Tetsu's character =D Good ol' Tetsu, the damn b*stard! XD  
Although I like him a bit because he's my own character ^_^;  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 7 - I Never Promised You A Rose Garden  
  
Then, she walked over to the front door. She froze. It was Mamoru.  
He stood there, looking pale and fatigued. Usagi wasn't sure what  
to say or do, but just stand there and stare.  
"Hi," Mamoru smiled.  
Usagi didn't reply.  
"I.... I came to tell you something..."  
".... Yes?" 


	8. Chapter 7 - I Never Promised You A Rose ...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. The title of this chapter is inspired by a book i read when i was  
younger (haha yeah as if i'm not young enough already!) ^_^  
Doesn't it sound pretty?  
  
Oh and I just realised that Sharla's name is English for some really  
odd reason when the story is set in Japan XD  
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!!  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 6:  
  
Usagi stood there, unable to move. Who had Mamoru  
been talking to? She only heard the last thing he said,  
about not telling 'her' even if he loved her. Was he  
talking about herself? Usagi wasn't sure and she didn't  
know if she wanted to find out. She still loved Tetsu and  
after talking to him, she knew she had missed him. She  
didn't even know what she felt for Mamoru or Tetsu. But  
Tetsu was coming home and that was all that mattered  
now, right?  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 7 - I Never Promised You A Rose Garden  
  
Mamoru sat in the office, waiting for Tetsu. His eyes were fixed on the  
door as he sat nervously by the desk. He was usually nervous when he  
was waiting for Tetsu, but right now, he was even more nervous. The only  
sound he could hear was the sound of the clock ticking. Seconds ticked by  
and minutes ticked by. Mamoru started fiddling with the papers and pens on  
the desk, trying to make them neat and tidy. He glanced at his watch.  
Tetsu was ten minutes late, which was unusual. Tetsu was always on time,  
because it was in his nature and well, he was the boss after all. Mamoru  
sighed and leaned back in the chair. Then, the door jerked open and Tetsu  
walked in. Mamoru bolted up from his chair.  
"Morning," he nodded to Tetsu.  
"Morning."  
"How was Paris?" Mamoru asked nervously as Tetsu sorted out some papers  
he had in his hand.  
"Good. Better than I expected," Tetsu simply nodded.  
Mamoru almost wondered if he had dreamt talking to Tetsu on the phone  
last night at Usagi's house. Tetsu had sounded too nice then, and now he  
was back to his usual cool self.  
"The project is going pretty well, but we still have to finalise a few things,"  
Mamoru told him as he showed him a report and some plans.  
Tetsu looked through them.  
"Usagi wasn't too much of an inconvenience, I hope?" Tetsu asked, not looking  
up from the report.  
"No, of course not," Mamoru replied.  
"Good."  
There was a long silence while Tetsu read the report. Mamoru stood there  
silently, watching Tetsu flick through the pages.  
"Well, it all looks good to me," Tetsu told him as he put the report down on  
the desk. Mamoru just nodded.  
"Good job, I'm glad I left it for you to deal with," Tetsu smiled a little, satisfied.  
Tetsu glanced at his watch.  
"I have a meeting soon, so I'll leave you to it," he told Mamoru and  
walked to the door.  
"Uh Tetsu," Mamoru called him back.  
"Yes?"  
"How is... Usagi?"  
"She's fine."  
"She uh seemed a little upset when I left..."  
"As far as I know, she's fine."  
"Well that's good. Uh, if you ever need me to take care of her again,  
I wouldn't mind."  
"Mamoru, do you have a fever?" Tetsu frowned. "You're starting to say  
strange things. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you later."  
And with that, Tetsu left the room, wondering what was wrong with Mamoru.  
And Mamoru stood at his desk, wondering what was wrong with himself.  
  
Mamoru sat at his desk, with his head in his hands. He sighed. He couldn't  
concentrate at all. Suddenly, a head poked out from behind the door.  
"Hey, Mamoru!" his friend Keiichi grinned.  
"What do you want?" Mamoru frowned, not liking the grin on Keiichi.  
"There's some crazy woman out the front asking for you," he laughed.  
Mamoru frowned. Crazy woman? It couldn't be...... Sharla?  
"And she's starting to yell out this incredibly interesting story," Keiichi  
teased Mamoru.  
"What's she saying!?"  
"Oh, something about you and Tetsu's wife?"  
Mamoru snapped the pencil he was holding. Sharla would do anything to  
get him to talk to her.  
He jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room.  
"Hey! Who the hell is she!?" Keiichi shouted at him as Mamoru ran down  
the stairs.  
Sharla was sitting on the front office couch, looking happy to see Mamoru  
out of breath.  
"What the hell do you want?" he scowled.  
"Just thought I'd drop by," she smiled pleasantly.  
"I thought I told you to leave me alone."  
"But I know you love me Mamoru. You're just being shy. Like your boss'  
wife, right?" Sharla  
giggled, then raised her voice. "What was her name again? Usagi? She  
was awfully shy and naive when I first met her... And she was wearing...  
Oh, what was it?"  
Mamoru stood there, exasperated. His other colleagues were all looking  
at them with interest. Thank god Tetsu had a meeting.  
"Wasn't she wearing your shirt Mamoru?" Sharla laughed. "Yeah, that's  
right. How did that happen?"  
Her green eyes sparkled, seeing Mamoru turning red from anger and  
embarrassment at the same time.  
"Sharla, if you don't shut up right now, I'll kick you out of the building,"  
he muttered quietly to her.  
"I want to see you try," she grinned, then continued teasing him. "And  
what was that rose for? It wasn't for me, so it was obviously for her, right?"  
Mamoru grabbed Sharla and pulled her off the couch. She struggled as  
he tried dragging her out of the building. This was just what he needed.  
"Mamoru, what the hell are you doing?" he heard a familiar voice.  
It was Tetsu. Mamoru turned and sighed. Nothing was going right today.  
Tetsu was with some clients and they were all looking at him with a surprised  
expression.  
"Uh hi Tetsu, just trying to convince this crazy woman to leave the  
building," Mamoru told him.  
"Are you the boss?" Sharla asked, smiling sweetly.  
"Indeed I am," Tetsu nodded, unaffected by Sharla's smile.  
"Ohhh, so it's YOUR wife?" Sharla murmured.  
"Sharla, shut up," Mamoru whispered.  
"What about my wife?" Tetsu frowned.  
"The one who I was asked to look after," Mamoru tried to cover  
it up. "She's a little jealous."  
"Are you Mamoru's wife?" Tetsu asked, puzzled.  
"NO!" Mamoru shouted.  
"Calm down Mamoru," Sharla giggled, enjoying Mamoru panic.  
Mamoru shook his head and felt a headache coming on.  
"I think you need some time off Mamoru," Tetsu told him. "You've been  
acting strange ever since I came back to work. Maybe I've made you  
work too hard."  
"No, really, I'm fine," he mumbled.  
"He's acting strange because he's in love," Sharla said in a  
matter-of-factly voice. Mamoru couldn't believe how immature  
Sharla was being. Tetsu gave him a 'what?' look.  
"Sharla, you know I love you," Mamoru forced a smile.  
If this was her way of making him say it, it was working.  
"Oh? But I thought you loved that other girl, you know, the one with  
blue eyes and...."  
But Sharla's sentence was cut off by Mamoru, who kissed her. He couldn't  
think of any other way to shut her up. Tetsu just stared, along with his  
clients. And so did the rest of his colleagues. Only Sharla was the one  
looking happy.  
  
Usagi finished preparing dinner and left Tetsu's portion in the microwave.  
She turned on the TV and sat down on the couch. For the whole day,  
what Mamoru had said had bothered her. Was Mamoru in love with her?  
If he was, how and why? Besides the fact that she looked like his princess....  
And she had acted a little strange, asking him for dinner. But Usagi had felt  
so unstable at the time that she also hadn't minded Mamoru holding her. She  
knew that had been a huge mistake. Her whole body tingled when she thought  
about it. Tetsu hardly ever touched her any more that it made her want to  
remember the feeling again. And Mamoru made her remember the feeling.  
She sighed and gazed at the TV screen. Tetsu wouldn't be home for another  
two hours. And even when he did come home, he would just eat by himself  
and then go to sleep without even murmuring a word to her. Then, Usagi  
heard a car coming into the driveway. She frowned. Why was Tetsu home  
so early? She sat on the couch, puzzled and unsure if she had heard things.  
But soon enough, the front door opened and she heard Tetsu's footsteps.  
Whatever the reason was, she was happy that he was home early for once.  
She leapt up from the couch and hurried over to the kitchen to get his dinner ready.  
"Tetsu?" she called out, but he didn't reply.  
She got out his dinner from the microwave and set it on the table. Then, she  
walked over to the front door. She froze. It was Mamoru. He stood there, looking  
pale and fatigued. Usagi wasn't sure what to say or do, so she just stood there  
and stared.  
"Hi," Mamoru smiled.  
Usagi didn't reply.  
"I.... I came to tell you something..."  
".... Yes?"  
"Tetsu... Tetsu said he would be late so don't wait up for him. And this is  
something he wanted me to give to you," he murmured, then handed her a  
bunch of purple orchids.  
"Orchids!" Usagi smiled. "These are Tetsu's favourite!"  
Mamoru wasn't sure if what he was doing was right, but he just couldn't  
pretend he had no feelings for her. He couldn't live a day without seeing her  
at least once. And even if she didn't want presents from him, if he pretended  
they were from Tetsu, then.... Then she would believe him, wouldn't she?  
"Thank you Mamoru san," she smiled politely. "Would you like to stay for coffee?"  
Mamoru heard that she no longer called him just "Mamoru". His heart sank.  
"No, it's all right," he smiled weakly. "Bye."  
He turned and left, leaving a rather surprised Usagi standing by the door.  
  
Mamoru sat in his car and sighed. He knew it was stupid making up lies, but  
he couldn't think of anything else to do. And everything was so messed up  
that no matter how bad it got, it wouldn't make a difference any more. Sharla  
had ruined his day at work and even Tetsu was showing surprise. Mamoru backed  
out of the driveway and drove home. He didn't particularly want to go home, but  
he didn't really have a choice. Mamoru turned on the radio to distract his thoughts.  
The music just floated around like a bunch of erratic sounds.  
  
It's true  
The way I feel  
Was promised by your face  
The sound of your voice  
Painted on my memories  
Even if you're not with me  
I'm with you  
  
The lyrics made Mamoru think about Usagi again. He switched channels to  
stop thinking, but the song echoed in his mind. He hated feeling like this and  
wished it would end.  
  
Usagi lay in bed, thinking about the orchids. Were they really from Tetsu?  
She wasn't sure, but a part of her wanted to believe it anyway. She tossed  
and turned, trying to get comfortable. It was 2AM. Where was Tetsu? Mamoru  
had said he was going to be late, but... Tetsu had never been this late before.  
She got up from the bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen to drink some  
milk. The fluorescent kitchen light made her blink. The house was silent, making  
Usagi feel so alone. She wondered if Tetsu even loved her any more. But she never  
had the guts to ask. Why? Because she didn't want to hear him say "yes". It was  
something she didn't want to hear, even though he was hurting her anyway.  
The warm milk comforted her and she sat at the empty dining table. She flicked  
through some magazines, but put them away. She wasn't really reading them.  
Then, Usagi heard the garage door opening. She sat, fixed in her chair, hearing  
the usual jangle of keys and heavy footsteps. She heard the door open and  
footsteps walking over in her direction. She saw Tetsu walk into the kitchen,  
unaware that she was nearby. He flicked through the mail on the counter and  
looked in the microwave for his dinner. Usagi sat there silently, watching.  
While Tetsu microwaved his dinner, he made himself some coffee. The smell  
of rich coffee reminded Usagi of Mamoru. She tried to get him out of her mind,  
but then she saw flashbacks of him holding her, smiling and taking care of her.  
Usagi shook her head free of the thoughts. Tetsu was walking over to the dining  
table with his dinner and he saw her as he turned towards her direction. She just  
looked at him, her eyes full of concern as well as sadness. He stared at her.  
"You're still up?" he asked, not moving.  
"I was wondering when you'd be home. I couldn't get to sleep," she told him.  
"Didn't Mamoru come here to tell you I'd be late?"  
"He did."  
Tetsu just looked at her with no emotion, then sat down opposite her to eat  
his dinner. He started eating without a word and Usagi watched him. She wasn't  
sure if he was annoyed at her or not. It wasn't her fault she was worried about  
him. It was one thing he never showed for her any more.  
"Mamoru was acting strange at work today," Tetsu spoke to her without  
looking up. "How was he when he came here?"  
"Fine."  
Tetsu continued to eat. Usagi played with the orchid petals. She started to  
doubt if Tetsu really had wanted to give her these.  
"What do you mean he was acting strange?" she asked quietly.  
"He wasn't in control of himself."  
"I see..."  
Then, Tetsu looked up at her. He glanced at the orchids, then turned back  
to her. Usagi wondered what was wrong.  
"Do you know a woman by the name of Sharla?" he asked her, putting his  
fork down.  
Usagi's heart started to race. Sharla? Wasn't she the woman who Mamoru  
had known?  
"I.. I know of her," she nodded nervously. "Why?"  
"Just wondering," he replied and continued eating.  
"Was... was she there?"  
"Where?"  
"At work..."  
Tetsu didn't give her a reply.  
"Was she making Mamoru act strange?" she asked.  
"You could say that."  
There was a silence as Tetsu finished off his dinner. He drank the rest of  
his coffee, then looked up.  
"Nice orchids," he smiled a little.  
"Yeah," she smiled back, happy to see some emotion.  
Then he got up from his chair and walked away to the kitchen. Usagi  
followed him. Tetsu put his dirty plate in the sink. They didn't say a word  
to each other. Usagi felt like she was going to cry. Why was he so cold to  
her? It hurt her so much, but she just couldn't find the guts to ask him.  
She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she knew they  
would never be answered. Usagi grabbed his arm as he started to walk  
away. Tetsu looked at her, puzzled. She held his arm tightly.  
"Usagi?" he frowned.  
She looked up at him, her eyes a little teary. He looked at her silently, offering  
her no comfort.  
"Tetsu...." she whispered. "Kiss me..."  
The air felt still while they looked at each other. Tetsu leaned down slowly  
as he lifted her chin up. Usagi closed her eyes and felt his lips against hers.  
If he didn't mind kissing her, then did that mean he still loved her? Usagi wasn't  
sure. But Tetsu's kiss felt cold and empty. Not the way... The way Mamoru had  
kissed her. Usagi opened her eyes and pushed Tetsu away. He looked at her  
and frowned slightly.  
"Sorry..." she murmured, then walked past him and hurried up the stairs.  
Tetsu stood there, unsure of what had just happened.  
  
----  
END OF PART 7  
----  
  
A.N. Errr yup I'm dragging this on longer than maybe it needs to be, but hey! ^^;  
Oh and the lyrics come from a Linkin Park song called With You. Yeah I know, I only  
used the lyrics cos they sort of fitted Mamoru's situation. It would have been better  
if I found lyrics from a sappy love song, but well, oh well! =P  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 8 - They Say Paris is the City of Love  
  
"What's with you and that Sharla woman?"  
"Nothing."  
"Yeah, sure, you just kissed her in front of all of us," Tetsu laughed,  
showing a warm expression for once, despite the fact it was a bad  
thing for Mamoru.  
"She's just... I don't want anything to do with her."  
"Why?"  
"She's married but wants to get involved with me."  
"So?"  
Mamoru stared at Tetsu. Did he just hear right? 


	9. Chapter 8 - They Say Paris is the City o...

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. Mmm the story is getting gnarlier o_O  
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!!  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 7:  
  
Mamoru wasn't sure if what he was doing was right,  
but he just couldn't pretend he had no feelings for her.  
He couldn't live a day without seeing her at least once.  
And even if she didn't want presents from him, if he  
pretended they were from Tetsu, then.... Then she would  
believe him, wouldn't she?  
"Thank you Mamoru san," she smiled politely. "Would you like  
to stay for coffee?"  
Mamoru heard that she no longer called him just "Mamoru".  
His heart sank.  
"No, it's all right," he smiled weakly. "Bye."  
He turned and left, leaving a rather surprised Usagi standing by the door.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 8 - They Say Paris is the City of Love  
  
Tetsu sat in his office, with Mamoru who was half asleep.  
"What is wrong with you lately?" he frowned, noticing that Mamoru was actually  
asleep.  
Mamoru sat up from the desk and looked around sleepily.  
"Shit, sorry Tetsu. I've just been sleeping late..." he muttered, rubbing his eyes.  
"I really do think you need time off," Tetsu told him.  
"It's okay, I'm fine."  
"If you insist."  
Tetsu was looking at some drafts of a building, which Mamoru had done.  
"Did you and Usagi get along?" Tetsu asked him, out of the blue.  
"Um.. What?" Mamoru replied, surprised. "Well, yeah. Why?"  
"You kept asking if I loved her, when I talked to you on the phone. Why?"  
"Um.. She cried a lot. And she missed you a lot," Mamoru told him the truth. "But  
you're not really the emotional type you know."  
"I know."  
Mamoru wondered if Tetsu was realising how cold he was. He frowned. What would  
make Tetsu think like that?  
"So, do you love her Tetsu?" Mamoru murmured.  
Tetsu looked up at him, then sighed.  
"Does it make a difference?"  
It did to Mamoru, but he couldn't say that.  
"Not really, I guess..." was all he could say.  
"I mean I don't mind her. She's nice and all. I don't know Mamoru."  
"Well I can't help you there either."  
"What's with you and that Sharla woman?"  
"Nothing."  
"Yeah, sure, you just kissed her in front of all of us," Tetsu laughed, showing a  
warm expression for once, despite the fact it was a bad thing for Mamoru.  
"She's just... I don't want anything to do with her."  
"Why?"  
"She's married but wants to get involved with me."  
"So?"  
Mamoru stared at Tetsu. Did he just hear right?  
"What do you mean?" Mamoru frowned. "So, it's a big deal. I don't like her at all  
and I am not letting her have an affair with me."  
"Nice attitude," Tetsu shrugged.  
"Why? Would you ever have one?" Mamoru asked cautiously.  
"I think we're getting off topic," Tetsu ignored his question. "These drafts are okay  
Mamoru, but you're obviously tired from working so much. Take this week off. And  
if you don't, you're fired."  
"Tetsu, don't change the subject."  
"I don't think there's anything else we need to discuss."  
"Tetsu!"  
Mamoru watched Tetsu walk out of the office without another word.  
  
Usagi lingered in front of the large grey building. She felt nervous, but also..... guilty.  
Not exactly guilty, but it felt like she was doing something that would break Tetsu's  
heart, not that it would. She watched as some people in suits walked in and out.  
They glanced at her as they entered the building. She took a few steps every minute,  
convincing herself that this was for her benefit and it was something she needed to  
do. She had to change. She wouldn't stay by Tetsu's side forever. More people swept  
past her in and out of the building.  
"Oh, don't I know you?" she heard a familiar giggle.  
Usagi turned and saw Sharla, with her green eyes sparkling.  
"Um, hi... What are you doing here?" Usagi frowned, puzzled.  
"I work here. What are YOU doing here?" Sharla smiled.  
"Nothing..."  
"Do you have some legal thing you need to settle? I can help you."  
"Not exactly, uh it's okay. I think I'll come another time."  
"If you don't want me to handle it, I can recommend my co-workers. Some of them  
are very professional."  
"I don't really need a lawyer..."  
"Oh?"  
"I just... I wanted to discuss uh.. rights."  
"Rights?"  
"Yes, my rights."  
"Your rights? Well we can discuss them in my office if you'd like."  
Usagi declined the offer, no matter how polite Sharla sounded. She just didn't want  
to talk to Sharla about why she was here.  
"Sorry, but I just feel uncomfortable," she murmured.  
"That's all right, I get it all the time," Sharla laughed. "But seriously, do you want to  
come in at least?"  
Usagi nodded with a little embarrassment. Sharla beckoned her to come into the  
building. Usagi followed quietly into the large, busy building. Lawyers bustled by her,  
dressed immaculately in suits. Sharla opened a door on the far right and gestured for  
her to walk in. Usagi walked in and sat down on a comfy red chair. Sharla sat down  
behind her desk and leaned back in her own leather chair.  
"So, what brings you here?" she smiled politely without any sense of threat to Usagi.  
Usagi smiled shyly, then murmured. "I was just wondering what rights I'm entitled to  
if I file for a divorce."  
Sharla gave her an inquisitive frown, then leaned forward.  
"Divorce huh? Well, that's a tough one. Do you have children? How long have you  
been married?"  
"Well, three years and four months. We have no children," Usagi told her.  
Sharla nodded, then got out a sheet of clean paper and a pen. She scribbled a  
little first, then wrote down a few notes.  
"Do you really want to file for divorce? Or are you just asking for your rights at  
this moment in time?" she asked a nervous Usagi.  
"I um, I'm not sure. Am I allowed to file for divorce without discussing it with my  
husband first?"  
"Of course you can!" Sharla laughed. "Not a nice thing, but you are allowed to. If you  
feel the need."  
Usagi nodded and gave a light laugh.  
"You should think it over though. No need to rush into these things," Sharla smiled. "Here,  
have my card and if you want to talk to me about it, then go right ahead. Or if you want  
somebody you don't know, then I can always ask one of my co-workers."  
"Thank you very much Sharla," Usagi smiled gratefully. "I'm sorry about how rude I was  
to you that time we met."  
"No problem. I was being a little mean to you."  
Usagi smiled, then walked out of the room and out of the building, feeling a small  
weight lifted from her shoulders.  
  
Mamoru sat in his car on the freeway, waiting for the traffic to start moving. Tetsu  
had made him leave work and have a break for a week and a half. He really didn't want  
to have time off work because otherwise he would only keep thinking about Usagi. His  
mobile phone rang, interrupting his thoughts.  
"Yeah?" he picked up.  
"Mamoru, are you busy?" he heard Sharla's cheerful tone.  
"Uh, yeah," he sighed. "What do you want?"  
"Just thought maybe you'd like to come over later, or I can go over to your place."  
"What for?" Mamoru replied, gritting his teeth.  
"I just thought it would be fun," Sharla giggled.  
"Is your husband away again?" Mamoru frowned.  
"Yeah, he's away for a week."  
"How ironic. I'm off work for a week."  
"Oh really? That's nice then. I can go over to your place when I'm bored."  
"If I let you."  
"You always lose against me Mamoru. I have this innate power over you."  
"Shut up. If this sort of thing is all you're going to say, can I hang up now?"  
"Wait a second, I have something interesting to tell you about that princess girl."  
"I don't want to hear any of your bullshit."  
"Now, now Mamoru. No need to get nasty. I'm telling you the truth."  
Sharla sounded slightly sincere, so Mamoru gave her a chance.  
"Go on."  
"I found her outside my work today. I invited her in after persuading her and she was  
asking about...."  
"About?"  
"Well, I'll tell you later. Come over around four okay? I'll see you there!"  
"Wait a second I'm not..."  
But Sharla hung up on him. Mamoru turned off his phone and threw the phone at  
the passenger seat in frustration. What the hell was Sharla thinking? He wasn't going  
to follow her around like a lost puppy any more. But he did want to know about Usagi.  
Why would she go to see a lawyer?  
  
Usagi sat on the couch, hugging a cushion. She had been thinking all afternoon about  
what Sharla had said. No need to rush. It was true. And Usagi hadn't even asked Tetsu  
whether or not he still loved her. If, there was a remote chance that he still did, what  
would she do? Did she, herself, even still love him? She wasn't sure any more. She kept  
thinking that just because she was his 'wife' she was obligated to love him. She wasn't  
sure of her own feelings. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head on the cushion.  
After several minutes, she heard the front door opening. Usagi opened her eyes in alarm.  
She glanced at the clock, which read five. Was Tetsu home early? She heard familiar  
footsteps walking towards her. She looked up and saw Tetsu. He looked tired, yet somehow  
easier to approach than usual.  
"You're home early," Usagi smiled. "I haven't started with dinner yet."  
"Mm," he just nodded.  
He remained standing there, a few metres away from her. Usagi got up from the couch  
to take his bag and coat. Tetsu let her take them. He stood there blankly, which worried  
Usagi.  
"Are you all right?" she asked him, touching his arm gently.  
He looked down at her, seeing a puzzled frown on her face. Usagi smiled unsurely.  
He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped himself. Then he just walked  
away up the stairs. Usagi wondered what he was going to say.  
  
----  
END OF PART 8  
----  
  
A.N. Interesting huh? ^^; Not really? Am I just killing you all with suspense? o_O  
Well, never fear! It'll all end soon ^^ Thanks for all the reviews =D  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 9 - The Truth Hurts  
  
There, she saw Tetsu's suitcase which wasn't properly closed. She reached  
over to close it, but curiosity made her open it instead. All she found was papers  
and forms, which was what she expected to find. Just as she was about to close  
it, she saw the corner of a stamped envelope tucked into a pocket. She took it out  
and saw that it was posted from somewhere in Paris. Tetsu's address was written in  
swirly cursive handwriting. Usagi turned the envelope over and all the addressee  
had written was their name, which was unusual. If it had been a business letter than it would  
have been sent with a proper return address. So this wasn't a business letter? And who  
would Tetsu send a personal letter from Paris? 


	10. Chapter 9 - The Truth Hurts

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be  
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;  
  
A.N. Ummm yeah, is this chapter predictable or what? =P  
Sorry I haven't written anything in ages! I've just been  
very busy with school ;_;  
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!!  
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 8:  
  
Usagi got up from the couch to take his bag and coat.  
Tetsu let her take them. He stood there blankly, which  
worried Usagi.  
"Are you all right?" she asked him, touching his arm gently.  
He looked down at her, seeing a puzzled frown on her face.  
Usagi smiled unsurely. He opened his mouth to say something,  
but then stopped himself. Then he just walked away up the  
stairs. Usagi wondered what he was going to say.  
  
----  
  
And To Change, Is It Good?  
  
By Artemis  
  
----  
  
Part 9 - The Truth Hurts  
  
Mamoru stood outside Sharla's house, deciding whether or not he should ring the bell.  
He stood there, thinking over the pro's and con's. Well, there was one pro and one con.  
It didn't help him at all. He walked back in his car and sat down. He could just ask Usagi  
herself.... But then he might seem nosy. It was none of his business anyway. And Sharla  
could be lying just to get him here. And he was here. He slammed his door shut and revved  
up the car. He wasn't going to do what she wanted him to. He had decided that before.  
He backed out of the driveway and headed home.  
  
Usagi sat up and looked at Tetsu, fast asleep beside her. He was acting so strange lately  
that she didn't know what to think. And what about those orchids? Usagi doubted that they  
were from Tetsu, but then why would Mamoru want to give her flowers and lie about it?  
Just so she would accept them? Or maybe to keep her thinking that Tetsu still loved her?  
She didn't know what either of them thought about her. And Sharla. She didn't seem so bad  
any more. Except how did Tetsu know her? Unless she visited Mamoru at work.... Usagi shook  
her head free of the thoughts. She shouldn't think about them. She shouldn't think about  
Mamoru at all. He had nothing to do with her any more. But what would happen if she did  
divorce Tetsu? What would Tetsu think? What would anybody think? Usagi sighed and got  
out of bed to get some milk to drink. That always made her feel better. So she quietly  
slipped out of bed and walked down stairs to the kitchen. There, she saw Tetsu's suitcase  
which wasn't properly closed. She reached over to close it, but curiosity made her open it  
instead. All she found was papers and forms, which was what she expected to find. Just as  
she was about to close it, she saw the corner of a stamped envelope tucked into a pocket.  
She took it out and saw that it was posted from somewhere in Paris. Tetsu's address was  
written in swirly cursive handwriting. Usagi turned the envelope over and all the addressee  
had written was their name, which was unusual. If it had been a business letter than it would  
have been sent with a proper return address. So this wasn't a business letter? And who  
would Tetsu send a personal letter from Paris? Usagi frowned. She couldn't make out the name  
very well because it was written in cursive, but she got the hint that maybe it was a woman.  
She tucked the envelope back into the suitcase pocket and left it the way she had found it.  
  
Mamoru lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. For some strange reason, he had been awake  
since five. He didn't have to go to work for a week so he should be sleeping in, but he just  
couldn't get to sleep. He wondered if Tetsu minded if he showed up at work. He had nothing  
better to do anyway. Mamoru sighed and sat up. He glanced at his clock. Six. Then, he  
noticed that he had received a message on his phone. He frowned and opened it. It was from  
Tetsu. Why hadn't he just called him? Tetsu had written that he was going to Paris again  
and unfortunately he needed Mamoru to come back to work. Mamoru frowned. Why was Tetsu  
going back to Paris? There was no more business needed in Paris, as far as Mamoru knew of.  
He decided to call Tetsu and demand answers to all of his unanswered questions. But all  
Mamoru got was the automated voice saying that the phone was unavailable. He frowned.  
Then he grabbed the phone on his bedside table and dialled Tetsu's home number. The dial  
tone rang and rang and rang. Then Mamoru suddenly realised that Usagi could answer the  
phone. He was about to hang up when the line was picked up. He cursed himself in his mind.  
"Hello?" he heard Usagi's angelic voice.  
"Uh, um... Is Tetsu there?" Mamoru asked clumsily.  
"No, he's just left for work. Have you tried his mobile?"  
"I did, it's unavailable."  
"That's strange. Don't you have work today Mamoru san?"  
"Uh, no. Has um.. Tetsu mentioned uh, Paris?"  
"Paris? What about Paris?"  
"Never mind," Mamoru mumbled. "I'll go into work and talk to Tetsu. Thanks."  
"Wait, I mind. What about Paris?" Usagi demanded.  
Mamoru sat there, unsure of whether to tell her.  
"Mamoru san?" she asked.  
"He um... sent me a message saying that he was going to Paris again... He hasn't  
mentioned it to you?" Mamoru stammered.  
There was silence. Mamoru waited for a response.  
"Paris..." Usagi murmured.  
"Hm?"  
"Oh, nothing. Do you think you could take me with you to see Tetsu? I'd like to hear  
his explanation too."  
Mamoru was surprised by how strong Usagi seemed. He wondered if Sharla had anything  
to do with it. He hoped not.  
"I guess so.... I'll come pick you up then."  
"Great. Thank you Mamoru san. I'll see you soon."  
"Yeah, bye."  
Mamoru put the receiver down and let out a deep sigh. He hoped he hadn't done anything  
wrong. He could just imagine Tetsu giving him that look. He tried to get the thought out of his  
mind. He grabbed his car keys and headed out.  
  
Tetsu sat behind his desk with the letter in front of him. The two pages filled with emotion  
filled French words. He took a piece of paper from his drawer and started to write. A sudden  
knock on his door made him pause.  
"Yes?" he called out.  
The door burst open, not letting Tetsu have enough time to hide the letter from his desk.  
He saw Mamoru and Usagi at the door. An odd, yet unsurprising combination.  
"What are you doing here Usagi?" Tetsu frowned, ignoring Mamoru.  
Tetsu quickly tucked the letter away into a drawer, but Usagi had already seen it.  
"I'm here to ask why on earth you're going to Paris again!" she shouted.  
"Calm down, lower your voice Usagi," Tetsu sighed and got up.  
He gave Mamoru a cold glare. Mamoru sighed.  
"I will not lower my voice until you give me a valid explanation!" Usagi continued.  
Tetsu closed the office door and calmly sat back down.  
"I'm going to Paris to discuss a few personal matters with a woman I met there while on  
business," he spoke slowly and coolly.  
"Why?" Usagi frowned.  
"That's not really important."  
"So you'll tell me first, but not your wife?" Mamoru butted in.  
Usagi looked at Mamoru, then at Tetsu. Silence lingered. Tetsu looked at the two of  
them and sighed.  
"I really don't have time for this right now. Usagi, go home."  
"Do you ever have time to talk to me?" Usagi whispered.  
Mamoru looked at her, puzzled. What had gotten into her? Tetsu also looked at her  
strangely. He was lost for words.  
"Tetsu, if you don't talk to me now, then I'm going to walk out and file for divorce!"  
"What!?" Mamoru shouted, before Tetsu could respond.  
Tetsu didn't even flinch.  
"Fine by me," he replied coldly.  
"Fine!? Fine!? That's all you can say!?" Usagi shouted angrily, her small body trembling.  
Tetsu took a project folder, then walked out of the office without another word. Usagi  
stood there in shock, anger and any other emotion a human could have in the situation.  
Mamoru was a little shocked and unsure of what to do.  
"Were you serious?" he murmured nervously to Usagi.  
She nodded as tears fell down her cheeks. Then she crumpled down to the floor and  
cried in her arms.  
  
Usagi sat down on the cough in Mamoru's apartment. She held the mug of warm coffee  
in her hands and sighed. At least she now knew how Tetsu felt. And now, no matter  
what happened, it was certain that she definitely couldn't convince herself otherwise.  
"Are you okay?" Mamoru whispered to her as he sat down with his coffee.  
She nodded slowly and took a sip from her mug.  
"Sharla said she's going to come over now."  
"Thanks," Usagi sighed.  
Mamoru sat there, drinking his coffee and wondering if there was anything else he  
could do.  
"I'm sorry to trouble you like this," she murmured quietly.  
"It's all right. I don't mind," he smiled, but she stared coldly at the floor.  
There was silence between them. The clock ticked. Mamoru's phone rang, breaking  
the silence and making them both jump.  
"Hello?" Mamoru answered, keeping an eye on Usagi.  
"Mamoru, I'm so sorry, but I can't come. Someone decided to dump this case on me  
and I can't get out of it. I don't know when I can come, but probably not any time  
today," Sharla whispered.  
"I see. Sure."  
"I'm so sorry. I'll call you back tomorrow. I've gotta go. Bye."  
"Bye."  
Mamoru put down the phone slowly. Usagi was looking at him eager to know who  
had called.  
"That was Sharla..." he sighed.  
"I see.." Usagi nodded.  
There wasn't any need for any more words. Mamoru sat back down next to Usagi.  
"I guess I should go home now," Usagi smiled weakly. "I don't want to be an  
inconvenience."  
"Don't worry. You can stay here as long as you want." Mamoru smiled gently.  
"Thank you."  
  
----  
END OF PART 9  
----  
  
A.N. The next part is the end ^^ Finally!  
  
Teaser:  
  
Part 10 - I think... It is  
  
She couldn't believe she had been missing the true meaning  
of love for so long. And she always felt the feeling that she  
had fallen in love with him before. As if she had met him  
somewhere, sometime. Maybe in another lifetime. But their love  
was still the same. 


	11. Chapter 10 - I think... It is

Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be   
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;   
  
A.N. Finally!!!   
  
Thanks for all the reviews!!! And yeesh, sorry for taking   
SO long to finish it!!! I just got MAJOR writer's block! ^^;   
  
In case you forgot or skipped part 9:   
  
"Tetsu, if you don't talk to me now, then I'm going   
to walk out and file for divorce!"   
"What!?" Mamoru shouted, before Tetsu could respond.   
Tetsu didn't even flinch.   
"Fine by me," he replied coldly.   
"Fine!? Fine!? That's all you can say!?" Usagi shouted   
angrily, her small body trembling.   
Tetsu took a project folder, then walked out of the office   
without another word. Usagi stood there in shock, anger and   
any other emotion a human could have in the situation.   
Mamoru was a little shocked and unsure of what to do.   
"Were you serious?" he murmured nervously to Usagi.   
She nodded as tears fell down her cheeks. Then she crumpled   
down to the floor and cried in her arms.   
  
----   
  
And To Change, Is It Good?   
  
By Artemis   
  
----   
  
Part 10 - I think... It is   
  
Usagi felt truly happy for the first time in her life. When she woke up, she felt that   
warm fuzzy feeling. It was like when she remembered the good times with her   
friends, laughing and giggling. Or talking to each other about their crushes. Or when   
they just talked endlessly about what they were going to do in the future. It was so   
much easier to feel happy when she was young. When there was still so many dreams   
and wishes she could imagine. And now, she felt the same feeling in her heart. Pure   
happiness. And she knew she had made the right choice to change. She felt more   
confident with herself and more talkative. She felt like this was the real Usagi that   
had been supressed all those years. And she had finally found the right man to fall   
in love with. Every time she saw him, her heart raced. The same feeling she had   
when she passed her crush in the corridor in high school. When she found out that   
her crush was looking her way during class. It was that most simplest form of love.   
True love. And every time she heard him say her name, she felt so glad that those   
three words followed. And she would repeat it to him, over and over again. Until they   
burst out into laughter. Usagi had never dreamed that love such as this could exist.   
Never ending love. Love with no boundries. When everyday, she fell in love with him   
all over again. She couldn't believe she had been missing the true meaning of love for   
so long. And she always felt the feeling that she had fallen in love with him before.   
As if she had met him somewhere, sometime. Maybe in another lifetime. But their love   
was still the same.   
"Usagi! Are you listening to me?" Mamoru's voice broke her thoughts.   
"Hm? Oh, sorry, I was um.. thinking," she laughed.   
  
~*~   
You are the sun that rises   
You are the moon that lights the night   
You are what paralyses me   
  
You are full of surprises   
You are a fire burning bright   
You are what mesmerises me   
~*~   
  
"About what?" Mamoru smiled, holding her tighter.   
"About you and me and everything else..." she sighed happily.   
"Sounds like me," he laughed.   
"I wonder if Tetsu would ever find pure happiness..."   
Mamoru heard her sigh. He didn't know what to say or what to think.   
"Probably not," she continued. "I hope that woman in Paris didn't get hurt either..."   
Usagi noticed that Mamoru looked a little uncomfortable and scolded herself for   
talking about Tetsu.   
"I'm sorry Mamo-chan," she smiled warmly. "I just keep thinking, how can there be   
people in the world who don't know what true love means? I feel so sorry for him..."   
"Some people just don't see past their narrow view," Mamoru whispered. "But he's   
already missed out on having the love of his life."   
"Oh? And I wonder who that may be?" Usagi giggled.   
"Mmm, a certain girl with silky blonde hair and the most beautiful eyes," he told her.   
"Is she in love with a gorgeous, sweet and caring man with the warmest smile?" she giggled   
once more.   
"Well I certainly hope so," he laughed.   
"She is, for all of eternity, she'll be in love with him."   
"You know, they say the only reason why love can't last forever is because   
forever doesn't exist."   
"We'll prove them wrong then," Usagi smiled, then kissed him.   
And Mamoru felt, for a fleeting moment, that their love would last forever. And forever   
did exist. Because they would always find each other in any lifetime, no matter what.   
  
----   
THE END   
----   
  
A.N. I think many of you might spear me for this ending ^^;; It's a bit too short huh?   
And it's my style to leave it partly unfinished... I'm cruel XD The lyrics are from Fragma's   
song, Everytime You Need Me.   
  
You all understood the title of the part, right? If you didn't, it's the answer to the   
title of the fic ^^   
  
Thanks for all the support ^^ I know I had that huge break between the story   
and the final end! I'm glad you all stayed with me til the end =) Hope you enjoyed   
the fic!   
  
Artemis =^-^=   
moon_cat_9@hotmail.com 


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